Bring Home Baby #1 Take 2

Yep, I'm pregnant again.

2nd cycle post miscarriage.  I ovulated on my own.  We had sex just once in my "fertile window" with no knowledge that it was in fact my "fertile window" until days later when 3 high temps confirmed ovulation had in fact happened.

No Clomid.  No Dr.'s appts.  Nothing.

I almost called my RE twice in the 2WW because I was SO SURE that I wasn't pregnant.  Once to call and ask for CD3 blood tests because I haven't had those done in a year and wanted to see if everything was the same and once because I had a fleeting moment of Why Aren't We Doing Clomid This Cycle? And almost called him to give me a Clomid prescription because I knew my period was coming on Friday and I wanted to pick the prescription up on Friday so I could start taking the pills on Monday, CD3.

I WAS THAT SURE.

Remember the Indian food?
and the depression?
and the general feeling of weepiness?

Yeah, not post ovulation symptoms...early pregnancy symptoms.

Sometimes called it.  After each of those posts she threw out the Maybe You're Pregnant! comments.  I so thought she was wrong, but turns out I was wrong and she was right.

So this is what making babies is supposed to be like?!

Carefree and thought-free and obsession free?

I even waited until 2 days past when my period was due before I peed on stick.

Convinced I had just set myself up for a very very bad day.

And instead I got double pink lines.

I didn't know what to do with myself.  Kept trying to think WHAT DO NORMAL PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY'RE PREGNANT?

I had so many tests and ultrasounds done last time in those first few weeks because they MAKE YOU take a HPT 2 weeks after you ovulate and then they MAKE YOU do 2 blood tests and then they MAKE YOU have an ultrasound at 6 weeks and 8 weeks.

But there was no one to make me do anything this time.

So I've opted out of all of that and am waiting until 10 weeks for my first ultrasound.  You know, just like the FERTILES do it!

I saw my baby's heartbeat at 8 weeks 3 days last time and it still died, no amount of early scans are going to ease my mind until AFTER that fateful moment between the 8th and 9th week.

Jan. 19 here we come.

As we start over anew my heart goes out to Unaffected as she attempts to deal with the news she received yesterday, her 9 week ultrasound showed a baby with no heartbeat. Too many memories in the too recent past, but I wish her and her family well as they grieve and heal over the next few months.