And now I know why I always feel 8 weeks pregnant.
I am 9 weeks today. Turns out it doesn't feel any different than 8 weeks 6 days.
I am hesitant to move forward mentally.
I literally can't let myself move beyond 8 weeks 5 days because I DON'T KNOW IF BABY IS ALIVE!
I have so few symptoms that it's really hard to determine if they are still with me or not.
Honestly I could be convinced either way. Why no, no I'm not tired at all. No, my boobs don't hurt. No, I'm not nausea. Or just as easily, why yes, yes I am tired, I should take a nap. Yes, my boobs DO hurt. And hmm, I think maybe I am nauseous.
I'm easily swayed.
What scared me this morning was that I woke up from a dream in which I WAS NOT PREGNANT. Now this might not seem like a big deal, but last time after the baby died I WAS NEVER PREGNANT IN MY DREAMS ANYMORE. So, I may or may not have had a little freak out session this morning in which I convinced myself that little 85 was no longer with us.
I also made a terrible discovery from someone else's blog, she is in the process of miscarrying, been diagnosed with a blighted ovum but has yet to pass her baby AND HER TEMPERATURE IS STILL UP.
So much for my brilliant theory of How to Tell If You're Baby is Still Alive by Obsessing Over Your Thermometer.
So for the next week and a day until the ultrasound I think I will just stay 8 weeks 5 days pregnant...