Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sigh of Relief

Houston, we have a heartbeat.

10 weeks 1 day.

I managed to work myself into such a tizzy this morning that I had elevated blood pressure, left with a massive headache and am now so tired I could fall asleep here at the kitchen table and it's barely 11am.

Turns out I was worrying for nothing.

Everything is fine.

Btw, this was NOT an actual ultrasound appt, this was just my first prenatal appt, so the ultrasound WAS NOT ACTUALLY THE MAIN EVENT.

Honestly the ultrasound was crap, it was one of those tiny portable ones and she did an abdominal ultrasound without my bladder being full.  I couldn't see a damn thing, though Dom says the little bugger was moving around like crazy =)

But I don't really care because I got to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler.

And I cried.

I have got to stop crying in Dr.'s offices.

It's embarrassing.  

Even happy tears are embarrassing.

Huge difference between these appts and the RE appts, they did no measuring of the baby at all.  We had a heartbeat and that was all anyone was concerned with.

Guys, I feel LIKE A FERTILE.  Is this how pregnant women with no fertility issues get treated?  It's so...lax.  It's like you're pregnant, congratulations, here's a packet of info, there's the heartbeat, see you in a month.  Less pampering, less specialized care, not sure how I feel about it.

Anyway, next up is my appt with my midwives who will be assisting with my home birth IF ALL CONTINUES ON THE PATH OF FANTASTICNESS in the next week or so.  I should get to hear a heartbeat once again...can't wait!

Aw look, there it is...actual excitement, it worked it's way in through the layers of grief and least for a moment, no guarantees on it lasting ;-)


  1. Ahhhhhhh Congratulations!!! I'm so excited that everything is going so well, it gives me hope :)

  2. Yay!!!! Congratulations! I'm so glad the appointment went so well.

  3. Fantastic news! Congratulations! I'm so glad that all went well and that you're starting to feel some excitement. :)

    P.S. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on my blog yesterday.

  4. YAY! Congrats. My first appointment was the same way, they didn't even care about my IVF stuff to much. Enjoy the day!

  5. Aww, Jes, I am so flipping excited for you guys! Geez I got teary eyed reading this, I can only imagine the tears I would have in the office if I were you! Yay!!:-)

  6. Yay! I am so happy that you heard the heartbeat today, that is the absolute best sound in the whole world!! That is the best news and I know how hard it is to feel excitement at first, heck I still struggle with it, but I am so happy that you are getting excited : )

  7. wonderful news! The first time I heard the hb I cried too! *hugs*

  8. FFS, you are a "fertile." You've been pregnant twice, and although miscarriage is sad it's very common. I understand that you may have identified yourself as infertile prior to becoming pregnant on an unmedicated cycle, but your continued use of the term "infertile" to describe yourself is insensitive to women who have never been pregnant despite numerous invasive procedures.

    1. @Anonymous - Although miscarriage does not necessarily mean infertility, many of the other things Jesica has been through do = infertility.

      Jesica - I continue to appreciate how sensitively you navigate between the IF community and pregnancy and am so happy to hear the appointment went well!


  10. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy for y'all girl!

    Yeah, it's totally weird how they're just so "blase" about stuff. For example, when we found out about my thyroid condition, I needed my blood tested all the time and needed my synthroid Rx upped. When we asked what could happen if they didn't hurry up and she was like, "Oh you could miscarry".

    I was like, "Um, excuse me bitch, but this is my BABY you are talking about. Not to mention that this is the baby that took us TWO years to get and you're just saying that I could lose him...just like I could lose my keys or something??"

    So weird. And yeah, when everything is "normal", they just ship you out the door like a herd of cattle...

  11. YAY! Such good news!

    Oh what would it be like to feel like a

  12. WOOOHOOO!!! What wonderful news! Congratulations!!! :)

  13. So happy for you. Same thing happened with my blood pressure at my OB appt today.

  14. 1. Yeahhhhh! That's fantastic. 2. Homebirth and midwives! Soooo excited for you!

  15. YAY for a heartbeat and your little bugger. :)

  16. yay, yay,yay that is awesome news! So thrilled for you :)