Thursday, July 2, 2015

Baby #2 Bumpdate - Weeks 35 & 36

35 weeks always feels monumental because you're 35 weeks and you have 35 days left!

Happy coincidence but one I enjoy.

How far along: I actually meant to post this last week at 35 weeks but alas we are at 36 weeks now.

Weight Gain: 149 = 31 lbs gained! The weight definitely seems to have tapered off.  This happened last time and it was because Jett had quit growing so I'm a teeny bit nervous, but I'm trying to remain calm and think that I just grow small babies.

What's Up with My Body: BP is staying under control!  It's actually well within the normal range at 112/76 last week, which makes me happy because this is about when things started to go haywire last time.  We'll see what tomorrow's appointment brings!

Rib was popped back in last week but DAMN it took 4 days for it to not hurt and now it's just...tender.  I'm uber conscious of it and worried about it popping out which seems to put some strain on the muscles around it.  So my back just generally hurts these days.  These last few weeks are a struggle!

Heartburn every night when I wake up at 2-3am but 1 Tums takes care of it.

INSOMNIA FINALLY RELEASED IT'S HOLD and I can sleep the normal 3-4 hours before I need to get up and pee.  THANK GOD.

Contractions keep waking me up in the middle of the night.  They are almost always caused by the need to pee but it isn't the need to pee that's waking me it's an awful cramping/tightness/hot flash of a BH contraction!  I kind of like it and am looking forward to the day in which it's actual labor waking me up in the middle of the night!

The bump no longer feels big, nor am I measuring big.  In fact...just like last time, I'm measuring a bit small.  34cm at 35 weeks and baby is roughly 5 lbs.

Emotions:  I am so ready for this baby.  And I'm so tired of being pregnant and solo parenting.  This ridiculous heat wave is not helping anything.  But because I'm so miserable the thought of labor does not scare me at all, I'm pretty excited for it.  I bought my birth kit and it arrived last week, so other than the birth tub which I should get around 37 weeks I'm all set!

Gender: I am fully convinced it's a girl.  Dom says 'he' and it feels wrong!  I'm prepared for either outcome but...I think girl.

Bumpdate:

36 weeks this time.

And 35 weeks last time.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Baby #2 Bumpdate - Weeks 33 & 34

How far along: 34w1d

Weight Gain: I don't know how much I've gained in the last few weeks but I'm 145ish right now, which puts me at 27 lbs gained total.

What's Up with My Body: Well...my pelvis feels better.  I went to the chiropractor and he confirmed that my left hip was in fact fucked.  The SI joint was out of whack, the hip flexor was out of whack and the round ligament was TIGHT.  All in all there was a reason for my discomfort and with a bit of an adjustment he actually fixed the damn thing!  BUT, my rib popped out again.  DAMN!  So, pelvis feels great, upper back really really hurts.  Even with a return trip and another adjustment to put it back in place...still hurts and I imagine will continue to hurt for the rest of this pregnancy.

Sleep: Pregnancy insomnia can kiss my ass.  I can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep, I wake up 7,000 times a night.  I wake up feeling anything but refreshed.  Sleeping sucks!

Stretch Marks: No, not even the one on my boob from last time.

Emotions: OMG, as soon as the rib popped out I lost it.  Balled my eyes out for most of the day.  It turns out ALL household chores require some amount of bending and bending HURTS right now.  Dom is still gone (home tonight!) and I felt very emotional and helpless and I was in pain and my house was turning into a pigsty because I couldn't pick up toys or do laundry or put dishes away or ANYTHING it felt like.  Last night I finally worked up the energy and courage to JUST DO IT and if I take my time I can bend enough to at least pick up everything off the floor and put the dishes away.  So, feeling better...but definitely hit a low point this week.

Bumpdate: 

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Fear is Gone

I must confess...I was scared of having a newborn again.

Very very scared.

And for only one reason.  The sleeplessness.

The thought of being up at all hours of the night with a restless newborn or nursing every 2 hours made me want to cry.

Jett has been such a wonderful sleeper that I was no longer used to waking at night.  And honestly I didn't/don't want to do the newborn thing all over again.  It was awful.

But then I got pregnant and I was up 2 or 3 times to pee.  Ok...I can handle it, preparation for new baby, I get it.  It wasn't that bad.

BUT NOW I CANNOT SLEEP LONGER THAN 2 HOURS.  Sometimes not even 2 hours.

It's like when Jett was at the peak of the awfulness that got him sent to his own room to CIO.  I see every hour on the clock.  SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A FORM OF TORTURE.

I have tried everything I'm allowed.  Benadryl, Unisom, Valerian Root.  None of it even touches this insomnia.  I go to bed around 10pm (can't fall asleep before that) and I'm up by 11:30.  Then 12:45.  Then 1:15.  Then 2:45.  And it continues all night.

There is nothing waking me that I can discern.  I wake up perfectly comfortable but thoroughly annoyed.  I always get up to pee because if I try to roll over and go back to sleep I will be woken up to pee shortly thereafter and I'm always trying to maximize how long I can stay asleep.  But it doesn't help.  NOTHING HELPS.

Last night I was woken up by CONTRACTIONS.  Braxton Hicks contractions, but contractions nonetheless.

I've started praying for 3 hour stretches of sleep guys...just 3. 

My husband (when he's here) has moved to the other bedroom most nights so as to again...maximize the amount of time I sleep because if he's snoring when I try to fall back asleep I can't fall back asleep.  If he's not there I at least fall asleep easily all 13 thousand times I wake up.  

I can now honestly say that I'm not scared of the sleeplessness of a newborn.  I actually think I will be sleeping MORE when baby gets here as I know they sleep for 3-4 hours in the beginning and a 4 hour stretch sounds like HEAVEN.

One night about 3 weeks ago I got a 5 hour stretch and I felt AMAZING!  I burst out of bed at 7am feeling more energized than I remember feeling in a long long time.

So there you have it, the body's amazing ability to get you ready for your baby no matter what.  I'm ready body, I'M READY!  I will take the newborn.  If I was 2 weeks further along I'd be encouraging labor just to get this baby out of me and get some sleep.

HOW IS THAT FOR IRONY?  I want the baby OUT to sleep.  

If this continues all the way to 42 weeks I will be a basketcase.

I think I only made it a month with Jett waking every 1.5 before I lost my shit.  I don't know if I'll make it any longer this time and I'm about a week in. 

Dear Baby, 3 more weeks...I can do this for 3 more weeks and then you have to come OUT or I'm going to go insane and you will have only a shell of a crazy lady for a mother by the time you arrive.

Anyone know any tricks to STAY asleep? Falling asleep is easy.  And I'll try anything at this point.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Baby #2 Bumpdate - Weeks 30, 31...& 32

What a slacker.

3 weeks since I've bumpdated.

Again, sorry Baby #2, but this time it's your fault, I've been busy preparing for YOUR arrival by moving to Oregon for the next 3 months.

So, we're here, we made it safely to Oregon.  It feels nice to finally be in the space in which I will hopefully be giving birth but it's been a hectic transition!

Dom was here, then he was gone and he's been gone since Monday, so I'm solo parenting.  We had a leak in our water main and dead mice in our attic stinking up the joint...it's been a bit stressful.

BUT we're settling in and I'm glad to be here amongst family, all ready to help in any way they can.

Let's bumpdate shall we?

How far along: 32w1d

Weight Gain: Big frowny face =( I'm up to 145...which is 27 lbs gained!!!  EEK!

What's Up With My Body: My pelvic girdle is uncomfortable in many ways.  I feel a lot of pressure, mostly in my rectum honestly, but it has nothing to do with pooping, just baby pushing and that seems to be where the pressure is directed.  I, unfortunately had this issue when in labor last time where all the contractions were pushed down into my rectum...hurt like a bitch, I'm afraid I'm doomed to have a repeat this time around if I'm already feeling a similar pressure.  But now things like sitting on hard surfaces are really uncomfortable, my whole ass hurts after just a few minutes.

My pelvis may also be out of alignment.  I went for a walk a few weeks ago, not a long walk by any stretch, maybe a mile in total (pushing a stroller) and after I laid down for a nap I got up and COULD BARELY WALK!  It felt like a pulled groin almost except the pain was radiating UP from my crotch through the left side of me, like INSIDE.  I was basically immobile for the rest of the day, I could only shuffle along, any lifting of the left leg sent pain radiating up through me.  It happened 3 more times over the next week, anytime I went walking for any distance.  I waited for my midwife appt last week to bring it up and she thinks it's a muscle spasm (because there is in fact a muscle that goes up inside you starting at your crotch, who knew?) caused by a pelvic misalignment.  So...off to the chiropractor I go, I can imagine few things worse than a pelvic being out of alignment BEFORE giving birth!

BP...is awesome.  113/66 yesterday.  So, check that off, I'll quit worrying about that for now.

Emotions: Still feeling pretty good emotionally.  I may be in a bit of denial about the fact that there is in fact another little person about to join our little family.  I worry about how this transition will affect Jett more than anything else.  Part of me is ridiculously worried about having a newborn again but the other part knows we'll just figure it out and we'll all survive...even if it's as awful as it was the first time.

Gender:  I officially have absolutely no idea.

Bumpdate:
My bump looks so much smaller bare...what's up with that?


And a comparison to last time...a little bigger, but not much...

Monday, June 1, 2015

A Jett Update

I've been talking about New Baby alot, but I don't want to forget about Jett.

He's ridiculously adorable these days and there's a few things I need to document.

He has an obsessive urge to correct Dom.  Words Dom says (he's British and says things "wrong" =). "It's not a nappy, it's a diaper Dad!" Things he tells Jett to do (if it's different than what mommy said).  "Mommy says we have to do it THIS way!" How to put Legos together.  "No, that piece goes HERE!" EVERYTHING Dom does wrong.  And it's fucking hilarious.


He also has a habit of telling other people what to do.  Again, usually something I've said to him.  He told a random lady on the street the other day to "Look both ways before you cross the street!"  My little listener.

When he wants you to leave something alone he always says "stay it on/there".  And I think it's adorable.  I feel like in some other language it's completely grammatically correct to say you want someone to "stay it there" instead of "leave it there".  I never correct him because I can't stand the cuteness and I want him to say it that way forever.

He adds an extra "n" to a few words and again...so adorable I hope he says words this way forever.  Piano is Pian-nyo.  And Signal is Snignal.  I die everytime.

Has asked to come to bed with me a few times!!!  Eek!  This is both adorable and perhaps the start of the fall down a long slippery slope.  I was alone one night and he asked at a 4am wakeup if he could come sleep with me and I gave in.  Surprisingly, he slept.  But then he did it again about 2 weeks later and IT WAS ONLY 9PM!  I hadn't even gone to bed yet so I told him I had to go get the bed ready for him and he could wait in his crib for me.  Not 2 minutes later he was sound asleep and hasn't mentioned it since...I don't think he remembers it.  BUT, I'm dreading him doing this after new baby comes!  What will I say then when I've already got one in bed with me???


LOVES Legos.  I've never owned a Lego set in my life, but this kid could literally play Legos all day long.  He must get this from his father...



Something else he gets from his father...you MUST give him a warning of some kind if you want to change activities.  "We have 10 minutes of Legos and then we're doing this"  "After you watch this last TV show, this is the last TV show and then we're doing this."  He's fine with almost anything as long as you've given him a heads up.  Dom is EXACTLY the same.  He can cope with change as long as there's a bit of a forewarning, if you try to change things up on him in the moment DOM CANNOT COPE.  Jett is the same same same.

He's back to napping every few days.  We have a week or so of 2 hour naps and then a week of no naps.  It's manageable only because on no nap days he sleeps for 13 hours!!!  Down at 7pm and up at 8am or sometimes as late as 8:30am!!  I can't complain too much.

Has really started to understand the concept of friends!  We went to the playground in San Jose a few weekends back and Jett (with some help from mommy) asked another little boys name and told him his name and then asked if he wanted to play!   They spent the next 10 minutes going up and down a slide together holding hands.  So freaking cute!!!  He also insists the little boy across the street is his BEST friend and always wants to hang out with him every day.



He has become a great little story teller.  It's usually based off a TV show he's seen recently but he'll recap an entire episode with his legos.  He builds all the characters and then will tell you who they are and what they're doing and it's always something that happened on a show he'd seen that day or the day before.


He's really such a sweet kid and I count myself lucky that he's such an easy toddler.  Poor kid has no idea what's about to happen even though we mention New Baby a lot.  I can only hope he continues to be a sweet kid as he adapts to sharing attention and being a big brother.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Baby #2 Bumpdate - Weeks 28 & 29

Hello Third Trimester!

Without a doubt I am not enjoying pregnancy the 2nd time around as much as I did the first.  I feel uncomfortable in ALL of my clothes and just generally feel big and unwieldy, something I did not experience last time until the very very end.

Basically I feel...yuck...all the time.

But here goes.

How far along: 29w1d

Weight Gain:  This might be why I feel so much bigger and unwieldy this time, I am somehow only about a pound shy of where I was WHEN I GAVE BIRTH last time AND I started this pregnancy out 5 lbs lighter than last time.  That means I have gained 24 lbs...and I have a long ass time left of this pregnancy.  My pants (yes maternity pants!) are so uncomfortable these days all I want to wear are my skirts and maxi dresses but the weather is not cooperating.  It was 70 degrees throughout the winter but come spring suddenly we're barely in the 60s and it's just a little too cold for bare legs!

What's Up With my Body:  Blood pressure seems ok for the time being.  It is in the 117-124/74-83 range...which is all fine, all good.  If it stays here, GREAT!  But I've got my eye on it.

Headaches have come a knockin and are making me cranky and miserable.  Of course headaches are a sign of high blood pressure so every time I have one I FREAK OUT but...they don't seem to be related in this case.

Constipation and hemorrhoids while not gone are UNDER CONTROL for the moment and I know that's the best I can hope for!

And heartburn, I have heartburn every night when I wake up at midnight to pee.  Gross.

Emotions: Emotionally I'm actually feeling really good.  We make the move up to Oregon in 2 weeks and I'm feeling very ready for the whole thing rather than overwhelmed by things that need to be done.  We took a trip up there in March and I packed up all the newborn things we might need for the first few weeks AND all my nursing clothes and took it all up there already, so I don't feel like there's much to do around here other than pack up our clothes and head off.  Dom will actually be spending a bit longer here in Berkeley before making the move up with us so it doesn't feel like I need to get my house ready to be empty for 3 months, which is usually stressful in and of itself.  I THINK WE'RE READY!!!  Kind of crazy that when we come back we will be a family of 4!!!

Gender: Back to girl.  I just feel so different this time...I will be surprised if this is another boy.

Bumpdate:








Thursday, May 14, 2015

Are You Done?

Everyone around me IRL seems to be done having babies.  Some have 1, some have 2, some have 3.  Some are done by choice and some are done by circumstances out of their control.  But done, nevertheless.

Vasectomy is a common theme in conversations lately.  Friends are taking proactive measures to ensure that they are in fact done.

How is this the stage of life I'm in?  It makes me feel very old.

I feel like I just started having babies, how can everyone be done???

Since making babies hasn't been the easiest thing in the world, "are you done?" has become such a loaded question.  Without a doubt we were not done with one.  Even if pregnancy was unachievable a 2nd time then adoption would have been pursued.

But now?  With #2 a few months away?  Are we done?

In my heart of hearts I will tell you no.  I'm not done.  When we got married we were going to have 3 kids.  THREE, not 2, not 1 but 3. 

We will TRY for a third on our own without a doubt.

But how hard will we pursue a 3rd?  Even though #2 isn't here yet, we've been talking about #3. Will we pursue treatments if we cannot get pregnant and STAY pregnant on our own?

I'm not sure that we will.

If it doesn't work and I stop ovulating...again, then we might be done. 

Or the miscarriages...do I have to have another miscarriage to have another baby?  It makes me sad that I have to lose on to get one but that's been the pattern so far.  Dare I risk losing another?

As Dom approaches 45 I think he'd like to be done with the "having babies" stage of life and move on to the raising our family stage.  I kind of get it.  I will turn 34 just after this baby arrives and if I pretend that the exact same timeline of events will unfold for #3 then I wouldn't be having #3 until I was almost 37.  Do I still want to be in the "building our family" stage of life 8 years after we started?

I hate to think this is the last time I'm doing all this things and not know it, like is this the last time I'll be pregnant?  Is this the last time I'll feel baby kicks from the inside?  Is this the last chance to have my homebirth? Will this be my last newborn?

I'd like to relish these things more if this is the last time I'll be experiencing them but...there's no way to know.

I know I've got at least another year, probably more, before any decision needs to be made on this subject, but it nevertheless plagues me.

What about everyone else?  I know most of you are/will pursue the 2nd by any means necessary but will you keep going?