One Week

I should be 39w2d pregnant right now...instead my baby is 1 week old.  Still so weird.

At one week Baby Jett:

Has diaper rash already!  Ugh, we tried so hard to avoid diaper rash, changing him ALL the time but alas...it seems it is impossible to avoid.

Is a champion nurser.  He's what's called an "efficient" nurser because he latches on, guzzles down half a boob in 8 minutes, gags, burbs and spits up for a bit, sometimes a la exorcist style (projectile baby spit up at 2am is awesome)...and repeats on the other side.  Nursing sessions should only take about 20 minutes at this rate but...

He is also a very picky eater.  If he has gas, needs to burp, needs to pee, has a wet diaper or dirty diaper, if ANYTHING is amiss he won't latch until the problem is fixed.  Thus nursing sessions take much closer to 30-45 minutes because mommy and daddy have trouble figuring out what's wrong before Baby Jett will nurse.  There's also a lot of latching, sucking, pulling away, figure out what's wrong, change what's wrong, problem fixed! back on the boob, latch, suck and repeat.  It's a game of trial and error.  

Is back to his birth weight already!  This can take anywhere from a week to a full 2 weeks for them to get back to birth weight, but because he's such a great nurser Baby Jett accomplished this feat in just 6 days.  Which is completely awesome because babies under 6 lbs. are too tiny!

Is also a champion sleeper.  We spent the first 6 days waking baby every 2-3 hours to nurse, which can be quite exhausting, especially when baby doesn't want to wake up!  But as of Day 6 when he reached birth weight again we can now let him sleep for a 4-5 hour stretch every 24 hours.  Of course we choose to let this happen at night and Baby Jett has put up no fuss about it.  I end up waking him up in the night to feed because my boobs are engorged...I have no idea how long he would sleep if we let him.  You know you're a parent when you think a 4 hour stretch of sleep is a LOT and you're super excited about it.  We, by the way, get a good 2 hour stretch and then the 4 hour stretch at night now and if we're lucky an hour or two nap during the day...it's not bad, totally doable.

Sleeps in bed with us.  I honestly don't know how I could possibly put him in his nursery all by himself when he's so teeny tiny.  I also don't know how I'd know to wake up and nurse if he wasn't right next to me.  He doesn't really cry, he just sort of wakes up and starts moving and grunting, it wakes me right up because I'm next to him but if he was in another room I imagine he'd have to get all the way to crying for me to hear him!  I love waking up to see him right there next to me...we will be co-sleeping until he moves around too much in his sleep as to annoy the shit out of me.

Is just being way too good of a baby for me to accept.  Instead of relishing in the moment I'm looking to the future and thinking about all the ways in which things could change and make him a fussy baby.  I should stop and just take in the moment and enjoy the fact that we slipped into this thing called parenthood relatively easily.

And because I never got to do my 38 week bumpdate...cause you know...we decided to just have the baby instead...I give you my final pregnant photo, taken just an hour or two before we headed off to the hospital.

And Baby Jett on the outside!  Curled into the exact position he was in utero.

Bumpdate - 37 Weeks

FULL TERM

Let's have a baby!

I kid.  Baby is nowhere near ready to come out as far as I know.  And I'm fully prepared to keep baby in for another month.  We are firmly in Leo territory now and we need to get all the way to Virgo!

So, before the bumpdate let me update.

I do NOT have gestational hypertension.  I was apparently just uber stressed last week and it elevated my blood pressure. I've had my blood pressure taken 3 different times this week by 3 different professionals and it is back down to a reasonable range somewhere between 119-127/80-83 .   And in case anyone is curious your blood pressure is considered high if the top number is 140+ OR if the bottom number is 90+.  For reference my blood pressure was all the way up to 138/88 last week, just on the brink, measured several times by several different people, Eek!

But we're back to normal now...let's hope it stays that way!

And since I brought up the whole subject and a few of you had questions I will address the issue of my high blood pressure and what that would mean for my homebirth.

In response to those who inquired about an induction and a homebirth, the answer is that NO you cannot be induced and have a homebirth.  And the reasoning is simply that once you make birth a medicated event whether it be through contraction inducing or drug pain management, birth is no longer the "normal" event that homebirth midwives are trained in.  If you are being induced or have an epidural you WANT to be surrounded by Dr.'s or hospital midwives who see medicated births everyday and who are trained in handling medicated birth complications and know what is "normal" under those circumstances and what is not.  A homebirth midwife does not know what an induced birth looks like in the way that she knows what a "normal" unmedicated birth looks like and she is not the one you would want overseeing the event.

Gestational Hypertension is a condition in which things can go wrong very quickly, it can easily turn to preeclampsia with little or no notice and cause problems for both mama and baby.  If my blood pressure had not gone down or gone up or goes up again I will take the advice of my midwives and if at any point that includes "we need to get the baby out" I would not hesitate to throw my homebirth plans out the window and go to the hospital for an induction and the subsequent epidural.  I would NEVER try to have an induced birth without an epidural by the way.

Yes, I would cry and be very upset about not getting my homebirth but I would never try to do it in unsafe conditions, and gestational hypertension or preeclampsia are both considered unsafe conditions for a homebirth.

Appropriate birthing people, appropriate birthing.

I am writing a whole post about homebirth and appropriate birthing I promise but I just wanted to address this one question.

So, on to the bumpdate:

How far along: 37 weeks, we have one fully cooked baby.

Weight Gain:  I think I'm up a pound, which is up 23 lbs, which is 145 lbs.  At my appt yesterday she weighed me in at 148 but that was the afternoon and we all know how hospital scales are WRONG!  But whatever even if it's right that's up 26 lbs. total. By the way excessive weight gain at the end of pregnancy, ie. like 5 lbs in a week, is another sign of high blood pressure and yet another sign that I DON'T have gestational hypertension as I haven't struggled with my weight at all through this pregnancy.

What's Up with My Body:  Argh.  End of pregnancy sucks.  I'm about to spend a fortune in the next few weeks on acupuncture and a chiropractor to try to maintain a certain level of comfort.  My rib still hurts even after a chiropractic adjustment so we're going back, probably several times...I don't want to be worrying about my rib while in labor, it seems to make ideal laboring positions painful ie. sitting on the toilet is supposed to be a great laboring position but this position kills my back right now!  And while my blood pressure seemed to have evened out before I made it to the acupuncturist, I forgot how much I like acupuncture and will be going back a few times over the next few weeks, apparently if we get to the point of needing to get baby out sometime after 41 weeks acupuncture works great to induce only if you've been getting acupuncture regularly beforehand.  This makes no logical sense but I like acupuncture and I obviously need help relaxing!

And CONSTIPATION AND HEMORRHOIDS continue to be the bain of my existence.  I thank you all for your hemorrhoid treatment suggestions...I'm giving them all a whirl, so far NOTHING is helping but I will keep you updated.

Pregnancy Revelations: I think everyone has ideas about how they will handle pregnancy, whether they will enjoy it or not and what part of their body they're most worried about through pregnancy.  My preconceived notions of pregnancy were SO WRONG.  I thought I would HATE pregnancy as it seems all the women in my family hate being pregnant.  Turns out I don't mind it at all, even enjoyed it through the 2nd trimester and well into the 3rd when the bump was at it's cutest.  I also thought I would be uber sick at the beginning, didn't happen.  And I thought I would get much fatter.  I thought I would just eat and eat and eat and not care  and gain a bunch of weight and then worry about it after the pregnancy.  I'm not a weight yo-yoer so I was pretty confident I would be able to lose the weight but I definitely thought I would pile on weight during pregnancy.  I never in a million years would have imagined that my worst and most frustrating symptoms would all have to do with MY ASS.  Constipation and hemorrhoids literally never occurred to me.  Just goes to show you that you really just have no idea how your body will handle pregnancy.

Signs of Labor:  At my hospital midwife appt yesterday I had planned to not take my pants off and thus would have no idea if I was dilated or not.  I don't think it matters at this point and really doesn't tell you anything and I feared the stripping of the membranes without permission that I always hear about.  But I had to get a pap because there was a test they did not do earlier in my pregnancy and they wanted in my records just in case I end up delivering at the hospital. So while she was doing the pap she asked if I wanted her to check my dilation...I said sure...why not, SINCE YOU'RE ALREADY DOWN THERE.  I'm dilated to...ZERO.  I'm not dilated at all, baby is staying in for a bit, though the BH contractions have started to pick up.  By the way I hate them much less now and don't even pay any attention to them anymore as there's really no point, so what if I have 4 in an hour or more I'M FULL TERM NOW!  I'm also constantly on the lookout for my mucus plug, no longer in fear of seeing it too early, instead it's like "OMG could that be my mucus plug???"  So excited!

Things I Still Need to Do Before Baby:  Nursery is not quite done...though very very close.  We started freezer meals...there is exactly one in the freezer right now.  Ha!  But one is better than none!  AND REALLY THAT'S IT!  My birth tub comes today, my birth kit is all ready, the house is being cleaned as we speak, I have enough diapers, onesies and receiving blankets to keep baby warm and happy until we buy it girl or boy clothes ;-)  We have a pediatrician picked out,  in-home newborn visit requires only a phone call after baby is born, I have things ready for postpartum care on my poor perineum and hemorrhoids, fridge and cupboards are stocked (for now, obviously this one is continuous and needs to continue to STAY stocked).  I have even bought a belly bandit and nursing bras for myself!  I think I'm all set!  Or am I?  Am I missing something vital?

Baby: Baby looks great, still roughly 6 lbs or so but apparently I'm measuring on the smaller side now.  I THINK WE ALL KNEW THIS.  Everything is still "normal" and I'm growing fine which is actually what they're measuring, growth from one week to the next...I just have a little belly.  The hospital midwife actually measured me WAY small at only 31cm which was crazy small, but the homebirth midwives have me at 35cm, so WE'RE ALL GOOD.

Bumpdate:

Oh look, a well fitting maternity dress, one of the THREE that I have.

I told you I like the belly better bare...but no underwear shots, instead I give you post yoga shots.

Bumpdate - 36 Weeks

We've been babymooning this week, so this is 2 days late.

And I'm about to complain my face off.

And this is going to be long.

You've been warned.

Did you know that there comes a point in pregnancy in which no matter how small you are you are going to look and feel fat?  And that you're more than likely going to grow out of not only your regular clothes but some of your maternity clothes?  Thus making those feelings of "fat" exponentially worse because THEY ARE MATERNITY CLOTHES and you're like how the fuck have I grown out of MATERNITY CLOTHES?!

Well, we're there folks.  We're there.

DRESSES, my beloved dresses do not look cute anymore...I look whaleish.  Even the tight ones that emphasize the bump are no good anymore because the bump is just too damn big to be cute.

36 weeks and we've hit the end of "cute pregnant lady", now we're just fat and pregnant and uncomfortable.

And even though we're actually 2 days past 36 weeks, so technically some of the shit I'm about to write should go in the 37 week, I'm going to put all that's gone down in the last day on 36 weeks because I feel awful and want to complain.

How far along: 36 Weeks + 2 days

Weight Gain: I may feel fatter but apparently I'm not as I'm still up 22 lbs. nothing gained this week.

What's Up with My Body:  I Just.  Feel. Fat.  And walking sucks, my hips ache when I walk.  And I basically can't eat any carbs without getting constipated.  But I think I finally found a magic elixir for the constipation.  GINGER TEA.  Ginger tea cures constipation, I SWEAR.  I discovered it by accident.  I hadn't pooped in 2 days when my sister offered me some ginger tea I said SURE, 2 hours later I was like OMG I HAVE TO POOP!  And this was bizarre because it was evening, I don't know about you guys but if I don't poop in the morning...it's not happening that day, I have to wait for the next morning.  But here we were 8pm and I was pooping!  Amazing!  A few days later I had ginger tea at baby class and sure enough 2 hours later when we got home, again in the evening, POOP TIME!  So, ginger, I'm a little bummed I didn't discover this like 4...maybe 5 months ago, but here at the end when we are also now dealing with HEMORRHOIDS, I guess I'll just be happy that I discovered the magic constipation elixir at all and not whine about how I discovered it quite late in the game.

And the hemorrhoids, I'm scared to death of pushing a baby out with hemorrhoids...I'm envisioning intestines bursting out of my bum at the same time that a baby is bursting out of my cooch and it's not a pretty picture.  We could just file this under THINGS I NEVER DREAMED I WOULD BE THINKING/WORRYING ABOUT but sure enough I'm desperately trying to rid myself of hemorrhoids before I have to push a baby out for fear of doing permanent damage to my intestinal tract.  Does that happen?

And my back hurts, but in such a weird spot.  Just below my right shoulder blade ACHES.  On our babymoon we went to a spa and got massages and they did a wonderful job of making my back feel better...for exactly one day.  I'm obviously sleeping, or walking, or just carrying this baby in a way that is hurting that part of my back because no amount of massaging is helping it stay away.  And it's making sleeping difficult as it hurts to lay on the right side, so when I get uncomfortable on the left and turn to the right I'm like SHIT, THAT HURTS TOO.  And now a little update as I just returned from a midwife appt...I probably have a rib out of place...yes, that would be why that hurts.  SHIT.

And last night I had the worst heartburn of my life.  No amount of Tums would soothe it and it basically made me feel like I was gonna throw up acid.  Milk usually helps me with heartburn but I as also having these really uncomfortable gas pains.  And you know what causes gas?  DAIRY!  So I was torn between the milk making the heartburn go away and the gas worse, I couldn't decide which was the lesser of 2 evils.  Finally at 2am my husband got me a glass of milk and I could finally sleep.  I feel like crap today, I'm tired, my back hurts, I have gas and hemorrhoids...but at least the heartburn is gone.

And THE ICING ON THE CRAP CAKE OF 36 WEEKS...I have high blood pressure.  My blood pressure has slowly been creeping up throughout the pregnancy but always staying well within the normal range...until yesterday when all of a sudden...it was high.  FUCK.  And again today for the re-check to see if last night was a fluke...still high.  Luckily I already have a hospital midwife appt set up for next week as they like to see you at 36 weeks if you're having a homebirth, just to make sure you're still healthy and low risk for said homebirth, so whatever tests I may need will be taken care of but REALLY?  I have no swelling, no weird vision disturbances, no signs of hypertension or preeclampsia other than high blood pressure.  DAMN...I was handling pregnancy so well.

The end of pregnancy is awesome.

Is it time to have this baby yet?

Baby:  Even though I'm miserable baby is still doing well and in the right position, head down with back to my belly, measuring 6 lbs now and apparently has some LONG legs!  Midwives were exclaiming how lanky baby is...I suppose this makes sense, my husband is 6'1" and while I may only be 5'5" my family is full of tall people...I'm the shorty.

Food:  I still am not hungry and I still want sweets.

AND FINALLY

Bumpdate:

 Don't be tricked by the gathering of the dress around the bump, I'M TRYING TO FOOL YOU!  Nobody walks around with their hand under their belly making their dress look cute...I actually look like this picture below in dresses now.

My room is a mess, I KNOW, I'm too pregnant to care, but do you SEE how not cute dresses are now?  They look like tents, BUMP. TOO. BIG.  I think I will just wear cute tank tops for the rest of the pregnancy...or in my underwear...the bump is still prettiest in my underwear.  MAYBE YOU'LL ONLY GET BUMP PICTURES IN MY UNDERWEAR FROM NOW ON.

Bumpdate - 35 Weeks

First, THIS IS MY 300TH POST!

What the hell have I been jabbering on about for 300 posts?

Second, today is 35 weeks, which means 35 days left of pregnancy!

And at one day shy of 35 weeks, that would be yesterday, it happened... I finally feel tired, fat and just too damn pregnant to do anything.

My husband is gone and I'm stressed, I'm very very stressed.

And I'm tired.  I'm so so tired.

It's 6:30pm and I want to go to bed. (I wrote this part yesterday and for the record I stayed up until 9:30pm...but that was entirely the sun's fault, if this was winter and the sun went down at 4:30pm I definitely would have been in bed at 6:30pm!)

How far along: 35 Weeks

Weight Gain: +2 lbs this morning, this brings me to a total of 22 lbs.

What's Up with My Body: I still don't have these aches, pains and swelling that everyone keep talking about, I would go so far as to say I feel good EXCEPT when I have to walk somewhere...walking sucks.  My midwife told me much earlier on that walking would become uncomfortable later in pregnancy and I didn't believe her...I believe her now.  I can't even describe why it's uncomfortable, it just is.  My legs and feet feel like they're carrying around a much heavier load (duh! they are!) and my pelvis starts to feel heavy.  I don't think baby has dropped yet, but my pelvis definitely feels the weight of carrying baby around these days...so I waddle.  I can walk normally for about 20 minutes and after that...it's waddle time!  And these goddamn hills in San Francisco?  Forget it, there's no normal walking it's waddle, waddle, waddle all the way home.

My belly started itching for the first time last night.  Not a fan of the itchy belly!  I'm so sorry for any of you that had this start way back in the 20's weeks!  Yuck!

Oh my new favorite pregnancy symptom that I just noticed and thus have no idea how long it's been going on.  THE HAIR!  My hair does not fall out so it feels lush and thick.  I literally have NO hair in the drain after I take a shower and if I brush it NO hair comes out, it's DAMN COOL.  I wish my hair was always like this!  I do not want it to fall out in clumps post baby!

And did I mention I'm tired?

And that I'm stressed?  We put things like "Install Car Seat" and "Begin Freezer Meals" on the calendar weeks ago and they seemed WAY far away...well, WAY far away is suddenly here!  Car seat?  Supposed to go in NOW.  Freezer Meals?  Supposed to start those NOW.  Birth Kit?  Ugh, supposed to have that ready in a week!  And if I wasn't stressed enough one of the girls in my group prenatal class who was just 2 weeks ahead of me gave birth on Sunday!  A bit early at 36w something, but Eek!  Almost baby time!

Emotions: Oh dear.  I've fallen off my rocker again, some days are fine, others ARE NOT.  If I'm tired I get irritable REALLY QUICKLY and I'm back to crying at the drop of a hat.  This construction is killing me, they are somehow really draining on me emotionally, it's like they're IN MY BIRTH SANCTUARY...I want these people GONE!

Food: I'm still not hungry.  If I'm by myself I'm finding it really difficult to eat, just because I don't FEEL hungry and thus don't hunt out food like I should BUT if I sit down to eat I find I can consume large amounts of food and that obviously my tummy isn't squished TOO much because I can really eat a lot these days if someone presents me with food.  Maybe baby did drop and I just didn't notice?

Baby: Baby seems to be measuring on the larger side while I and my uterus seem to be measuring on the smaller side, wait, what?!  Yep.  At my midwife appt last week they palpated my uterus for the first time!  Do OB's do this?  They basically measure baby's size with their hands rather than with a machine.  This is one of those things that is becoming a "lost art" in the world of obstetrics and I'm so happy that midwives are keeping it alive.  IT'S VERY COOL.  But back to the palpating.  Baby was measuring roughly 5.5 lbs at 34 weeks which is at the very high end of normal BUT my uterus was only measuring at 32 weeks which is at the low end of normal.  No one is concerned about any of this as it's all within the realm of NORMAL, it's just interesting to know that YOU REALLY CAN'T TELL HOW BIG BABY IS BY THE SIZE OF YOUR BUMP.  But big growing baby explains why I'm so tired, why I suddenly feel heavy and...waddly and why I actually gained 2 lbs in one week.  I can only hope baby doesn't continue along the path of growing a 1/2 pound a week because we're looking at an 8.5-9 lb baby if that's the case!

Labor Signs:  I had way more Braxton Hicks contractions back in the 20's weeks than I do now.  I still get them daily but only a few.  I'm still pretty damn sure that baby is going to stay in for awhile.

Gender:  You guys my poll is split 50/50, exactly half of you think boy and half of you think girl, THAT'S HILARIOUS.  I had another baby boy dream this week...baby boy dreams are definitely outnumbering baby girl dreams at this point.  And at my baby shower I got a resounding GIRL vote with only a few guessing boy.  Truly this is going to be quite a surprise!

Bumpdate:

I might grow out of this tank top before we're through here, it barely covers the maternity panel on my jeans!

Bumpdate - 34 Weeks

OMG, it's July, We're Having A Baby NEXT MONTH!!!

And we're just 3 weeks away from a fully cooked baby...that's insane!

I'm kind of in shock.

So at 34 weeks I have 2 words for you:

Constipation + Hemorrhoids

My new version of hell.

Pizza is my new enemy.

Never. Eating. Pizza. Again.

Ok, I'm being overly dramatic.

But only slightly.

I will in fact never eat pizza again during this pregnancy, we're done with that.

And.

Constipation + Hemorrhoids really is a terrible terrible combination and I am once again thankful that these are pregnancy specific problems for me and not something I deal with on a regular basis.

PLEASE GOD LET THEM GO AWAY AFTER I HAVE THIS BABY.

Both problems are resolved at present.

But there were definitely some uncomfortable moments this week.

Enough about hemorrhoids, on to the bumpdate.

How far along: 34 Weeks

Weight Gain: Up another pound, 20 lbs total.

What's Up With My Body:  Didn't we already talk about this?  Constipation and Hemorrhoids!  Other than that I have only minor complaints.  I get the sciatica in my left butt cheek into the tailbone every once in awhile, my back between my shoulder blades hurts every once in awhile, I have heartburn every once in awhile and I get shooting pains down my crotch every once in awhile, which my midwives call "fire crotch"...awesome, but it's nothing compared to the CONSTIPATION AND HEMORRHOIDS COMBO. I'm still pretty comfortable, no swelling, I'm not feeling huge, no stretch marks other than the boob one, no itchy belly.  My feet do hurt if I'm on them too long and I find myself waddling if I've been walking too much, but no hip or pelvic pain yet.

Sleep: Sleep has been exactly the same since Day 1 of this pregnancy.  I get up 3-4 times a night to pee, every single night.  I don't remember what it's like to sleep through the night BUT I have yet to experience "pregnancy insomnia" as I am always able to fall back to sleep. Generally I'm not in pain at night and rolling over is still easy enough that I don't feel the need to complain about it.

AMUSING STORY ABOUT SLEEP - Both my cats started puking at 3:30am last night.  I became convinced that there was a carbon monoxide leak because I've heard stories about there being a leak and the doggies getting up, throwing up and then going back to bed with their owners and then the owners AND the doggies die from carbon monoxide poisoning.  We were all up until 5:30am, all the lights in the house were on, windows were opened, us on the computers, us checking our co2 leak detector, us thinking we were nauseous, etc etc.  Finally we decided we were being ridiculous as I am pregnant and get nauseous sometimes and he had had a whooping cough vaccine that day which side effect can be...nausea...and the cats?  Well, the cats are inside/outside cats, maybe they ate something?  Ultimately as you can tell, we are alive and the cats are alive and I don't think there's a co2 leak in the house BUT we just stocked up on MORE co2 leak detectors...just in case.  This morning it felt like this was a prelude to parenthood...up. all. night. with pukey babies, worried sick....awesome.

Bumpdate:

Apparently I was feeling patriotic today as I got up and put on a red and white dress and wore a blue jean jacket with it.  I didn't even notice my 4th of July outfit until one of the neighbors commented on it.  This is my one and only Old Navy Maternity dress and I actually had to tie the empire waist tie differently than it's intended to make it fit me properly.  So. Much. Extra. Fabric in such weird places on Old Navy Maternity I honestly don't know who they're intended for...but it's not me.

Bumpdate - 33 Weeks

Guys...these are getting boring.

My pregnancy is boring.

So I've put together a bump...ollage.

Are you excited?

It's going to be bumptastic!






But you have to wait until the end.

Don't worry, this is short.



How far along:  33 weeks...even if baby is 2 weeks late, we are still in single digit weeks.  I've also been really really feeling like I've got a 41 weeker in here.  As we've discussed, this is fine with me as it gets us out of Leo territory, you just stay in there little VIRGO!

Weight Gain:  Up another pound, 19 lbs. total.

What's Up With My Body:  The last 2 days I've experienced a small amount of sciatic nerve pain running from my left butt cheek through my tailbone...but it's gone today.  This seems to be the way with ALL of my pregnancy symptoms, around for a day or two and then gone.  I've experienced a little bit of everything all in small doses EXCEPT CONSTIPATION OF COURSE, that was still my worst and most persistent pregnancy symptom to date.  But other than my 2 days of sciatica I'm feeling really good.

Gender: While hypnobabying this week there is a point in one of the CD's in which you're supposed to visualize your birth from a first person perspective, so you don't watch yourself give birth but visualize being inside your own body giving birth.  Guys, while "under hypnosis" I gave birth to a boy.  A BLONDE haired boy...which leads me to believe it was all a bunch of crap, because as we've discussed a blondie is nearly impossible for me unless my husband has hidden blonde genes...technically anything is possible, so maybe I really did imagine my baby...but it totally made me think I've got a little boy in there.

Emotions:  My emotions have actually calmed down a bit this week, we're even throwing a party this weekend AND construction is starting AND...I'm actually ok.  No meltdowns.

And...

That's all I've got.

See, boring pregnancy.

And on to the bumptastic bumpollage.

Normally I wouldn't be one to put pictures of myself in my underwear up anywhere on the internet...or even a bikini...would never happen, but there's something about this pregnant belly that makes your body feel like it's not really YOUR body...and apparently that makes it ok.  Like it's ok because I'm just this walking incubator right now NOT a real person.  This is not my real stomach, these are not my real boobs, IT ALL BELONGS TO BABY.  Hahaha, anyone else feel like this?  I know some people feel terribly unattractive and fat while they're pregnant and I fully agree that in certain clothes I'm like UGH, am I really THAT wide?  But walking around in my underwear?  I feel really pretty and sexy and love my bump.  My thighs though?  Different story...notice I've cut them out of the piccie!  Still my same thighs, still hate them.

I think a lot of growth happened right around 30 weeks...remember when I was worried at 26 weeks about my bump not growing?  I'm so glad I documented my crazy...I find it entertaining now.  People still like to tell me my bump is small, but whatevs, I'll take the "little bump" as we're still measuring right on track.

Bumpdate - 32 Weeks

Only 8 weeks to go...just 2 more months...and I'm officially 8 months pregnant.

This has been a super boring week other than my hip...

How far along: 32 Weeks

Weight Gain:  Up a pound!  That makes 18 lbs total and we've hit 140 baby!  Definitely the most I've ever weighed, I know I hung out in the 130's at one point in my life but I've never weighed 140.

Food: I'm not hungry.  I have officially entered a period in which I have to force myself to eat.  I make sure to have breakfast, lunch and dinner and I TRY to have 2 snacks during the day...but I'm not always successful.  What can I say?  I think baby has squished everything and...I'm not hungry.  I never really experienced The Hunger in which I just wanted to eat and eat and eat...and that sucks because I LOVE eating!  I was honestly looking forward to all the eating.  There were moments in the first tri that I was hungrier than normal...but it was short lived.  Boo!

Maternity Clothes:  My beef with maternity clothes lives on.  Specifically Old Navy Maternity.  I've started to grow out of a few of my staple dresses, some non-maternity ones and I'm down to like 4 that I can still wear.  So I decided to give Old Navy Maternity a shot again, convinced that at 30 some odd weeks I would DEFINITELY be big enough even for the tent like maternity clothes of Old Navy Maternity...oh how wrong I was.  STILL TOO BIG.  But Old Navy has redeemed itself by continuing to have amazing NON maternity wear that fits great.  I swear as long as it's empire waisted Old Navy dresses will fit me to the end.  ALSO they have some pretty great NON maternity tank tops out now, called The Perfect Tank...super long and super slimming.  Loving Old Navy through this pregnancy...just not the maternity wear.

What's Up with My Body:  My hip/ligaments still hurt...but it's definitely getting better.  Unfortunately we have our group prenatal appt here at our house on Thursday (yes tomorrow!) and thus I can't just sit around on the couch all day letting my ligaments heal, I have to clean up the mess that we started on Sunday and which created the injury in the first place.  Oddly it now hurts more if I sit for too long anyway and to be up walking around is actually more comfortable than sitting. Have I mentioned how fucking brilliant we are for doing a million projects in the last 10 weeks of pregnancy???
ADVICE FOR THOSE NOT SO FAR ALONG: DO THE PROJECTS EARLIER IN THE PREGNANCY SO THAT YOU CAN HELP WITHOUT HURTING YOURSELF.

Other than the hip I'm still generally comfortable.  No swelling, no constipation, no heartburn, still not feeling huge.  When I'm not injured turning over at night is still pretty simple.  Peeing at night even seems to be slowing down!  I was only up twice last night!!!  So, honestly I don't have much to complain about as I know a lot of others start to get super uncomfortable around now and I'll shut up about my hip because I know others have it way worse.

At my last prenatal appt, which was almost 2 weeks ago we found out that baby is head down!  Whoop whoop!  Baby seems to have stayed in the same position as my midwife showed me how to feel baby and it's the butt that stays up by my ribs (I thought it was the head) and baby's smooth flat back running along my tummy.  OPTIMAL birthing position...STAY PUT BABY!  I'm hoping baby runs out of room to flip soon and will just continue to hang out head down with it's back to my front.  This is called Occipital Anterior for anyone who cares!

Movement:  Baby movements are not kicks and punches anymore, they are stretches and pushes and it's gotta be said...it hurts!  Baby is ALL OVER the place in there and I seriously feel like I have an alien ready to push it's way out through my belly button sometimes!  I can't believe how strong some of the movements are, it takes my breathe away!

Emotions:  Hahahaha!  Hormones suck.  I cried twice before noon yesterday.  And tears threatened several more times before the day was over.  What am I crying about?  God knows...I don't know.  I can cry about anything basically.  I almost cried at the paint counter at Home Depot because they couldn't match a color for me.  Yeah...it's awesome.  Honestly I'm overwhelmed because again...we're fucking brilliant doing all this shit to the house at the end of the pregnancy.  I hate the house being a mess like it is and I just can't believe that no matter how many people tell you the pregnancy flies by...first timers never listen and wait til the last minute to do everything.  Stupid, stupid first timers.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Homebirth Childbirth Class!  We had our first one on Monday and I LOVE IT.  I'm actually excited that this is what we'll be doing for the next 5 Mondays, makes me feel WAY more prepared to breeeeeeathe my way though childbirth.

Bumpdate:

Old Navy NON maternity dress.

Bumpdate - 31 Weeks

Just 9 weeks to go guys...just 9 more weeks.

My expectation lately has been that I'm about to get really uncomfortable.

As the weeks go by and we get closer and closer to the end everyone keeps telling me that I will experience the following:

Insomnia
Achy hips
Sore back
Swelling
Incredible Weight Gain

I'm still waiting for all of this.  Waiting to get more uncomfortable, waiting to feel really sore, not just minor aches and pains, waiting to get so big that I really FEEL big, waiting to have trouble sleeping, waiting for the pounds to just start piling on, waiting for giant swollen elephant feet and accompanying cankles.

But so far...we're doing good.

How far along: 31 Weeks

Weight Gain: Same...+17 lbs.  Holding steady at 139, if I gain 1 pound a week for the next 9 weeks we're right in the "goal" weight of 25-35 lbs for the whole pregnancy.  If I don't I'm gonna come in underweight, to which I say...fuck it, I don't care, baby looks fine, that's all I really care about.  I'm not gonna start sucking down milkshakes unless I want a milkshake just to gain the "right" amount of weight.

Something amusing I have to share about weight gain and my diet.  Apparently constipation is the key to a healthy diet and minimal weight gain ;-)  I can't tell you how many times I've turned down pizza or a sandwich or pasta in lieu of something else without carbs for the very simple reason of wanting to be able to poop!  Nothing else has ever motivated me to eat well in the same way as constipation.  Which is ridiculous because you would think the health of the baby would be the MOST important thing ever and yet...when it comes to cravings, it's not.  I can ALWAYS convince myself that it's the baby who wants the eclair or the pizza or the cheeseburger and that what baby wants baby gets.  But knowing if I eat cheeseburgers and pizza and pasta for several days in a row we're gonna run into some bathroom trouble stops me dead in my tracks and I'm like ok I'll have the pizza today but SALAD tomorrow and amazingly I do it without a second thought.  Anyone who's ever suffered from chronic constipation, my heart goes out to you, I have so much sympathy for you, and at the same time, DIET HELPS IMMENSELY.  If this was something I struggled with outside of pregnancy I would be the healthiest eater EVER.

What's Up With My Body:  Speaking of constipation...it's gone.  I really haven't struggled with it (minus the traveling constipation!) since the beginning of the 3rd trimester, so for now I can say that constipation was exclusively a 2nd trimester issue.

I am tired a lot of the time, NOT like the first trimester exhaustion, just generally tired, but napping is impossible.  I find this so annoying because I LOVE to nap, but naps are elusive these days.

I've started to get really irritated that I can't do certain tasks just because I'm you know...really pregnant.   Normally I love to be waited on and can find any excuse to get someone else to do things for me but apparently I hate not being ABLE to do certain things.  I know I need to slow down and ask for help when I need it, but apparently pregnancy really brings out my desire to be independent.  It's driving me nutty...and my husband too.  There's nothing quite like discovering you can't do something simple like hang a curtain and then find yourself breaking down as you tearfully explain to your husband why it's so upsetting to not be able to hang curtains when normally that's his job anyway and you would never dream of hanging the curtains when you're not pregnant because YOU CAN GET YOUR HUSBAND TO DO THAT.  Yes, still very emotionally unstable over here.

Food: I didn't mention it but that sweets craving completely went away a few weeks ago.  It was intense and lasted for a week and then...gone.  Back to my normal "not a big fan of sweets" self.

Some mornings I'm hungry at 5am, but I just can't get up to eat...it's a whole debacle where the cats want to be fed and let out and a simple bowl of cereal turns into me going through the whole "getting up" routine with the kitties and then it's like I'm UP for the day.  So, I ignore 5am cravings.

Gender: I made a decision on a girl name, that's right I, not we, LOL.  I asked the families to look into family trees as I wanted something with meaning, remember?  And VOILA, a name popped up a few generations ago that was already on the girl name list.  It's not popular, it's not made up, it's feminine.  Dom won't agree to ANY names until he sees the baby, but he likes the name too.  Of course this means the baby is BOUND TO BE A BOY because we're still stuck for boy names.

Bumpdate: So, the bump seems to have started to take on a more "basketball" appearance than it was earlier on.  I have a plethora of piccies to show you what I mean as the side view doesn't always do it justice.  I also think it looks HUGE in pictures, whereas in real life it doesn't feel very big.

Rosie Pope Maternity Dress, LOVE this dress, although I've never felt more pregnant than when I wear this dress, I think the white REALLY accentuates the bump and makes me look huge. 

Does it look like a basketball? 

My view....although I swear it doesn't look this big when I look down... 

You all know where I'm going with this right?  Basketball bump is supposed to be boy!  LOL, let the bump analysis continue...just 9 more weeks of speculation to go!

Bumpdate - 30 Weeks

Guys, I still have NOTHING to blog about.

I just had a baby shower in NYC, I should blog about that.  I just took another flight while 29 weeks pregnant and I hated every moment of it, I should blog about that.  I have a nursery theme finally, I should blog about that.  But I've got NOTHING.  The posts will not flow, I can't put anything together.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS UP.

But until I can get a blog post out of my head and onto the computer screen I guess we're just gonna keep bumpdating away.

So here we go.

Everyone always says how quickly the 9 months of pregnancy fly by ( it's really 10 months!).

I used to think they were full of shit.

Especially after those first 12 weeks DRAGGED on.  And I had to do them twice.

Longest 12 weeks of my life...twice.

But...I must admit, since 12 weeks, the time has flown by.

It's June already and I'm due in August.

There are only 10 weeks left!

Eek!

Baby is almost cooked.

How far along: 30 Weeks

Weight Gain: Traveling constipation hit with a vengeance while in NYC and I thought I had gained 4 lbs. in one week.  Once I was back home on Tuesday and my body finally decided it was ok to poop in the comfort of my own home, I'm back down to where I was last week at 139...so, I pooped out 4 lbs and I am still up 17 lbs total.

What's Up With My Body: Oh dear god the traveling constipation was HORRIBLE.  I left Friday, luckily pooped before the plane ride and then...NOTHING.  I had to wait all the way until Tuesday when we returned to poop out the 4 lbs I gained while eating nothing but crap the whole time I was in NYC.  DELICIOUS CRAP by the way, but there was a lot of pasta and bread involved in the weekend.  On day 2 I started the constipation tricks and tried them ALL before I returned home.  Oranges, kiwis, dates, prunes, oatmeal, aloe, chia seeds, roughage, I did it all...with nothing.  Oh so thankfully this was the kind of constipation in which you just don't have the urge to go at all.  I call it traveling constipation as it seems to happen whether I'm pregnant or not.  It had been 3 days but I had no cramping or uncomfortableness, THANK GOD.  And it doesn't seem to be a return of constipation as all is back to normal now that I am home.

Sleeping in hotel beds and friends beds and other beds that were not my own definitely left me with some sore hips over the weekend.  They felt better sleeping in my own bed last night, but they definitely bothered me more than normal.  I'm hoping this is not a symptom that is here to stay and I just need another day or two in my own bed for my hips to feel better again.

I have a stretch mark.  On the underside of my left boob.  To give credence to the genetic link to stretch marks, this is the only place that my mother and sister got stretch marks in their pregnancies also.  My boobs have not grown since 15 weeks, we're holding steady with our D cups, but out of nowhere...a stretch mark.  No, I don't use lotion or oil on a regular basis to avoid stretch marks because I don't believe you can avoid them if you're going to get them.  Still none on the belly.

And the top of my belly button officially sticks out.  Not the whole thing, just the top.

Emotions: I'm a wreck.  It's impossible not to cry...over nothing.  I was on the plane heading home, I hadn't pooped in 4 days and my media player wouldn't play...i got so upset I started crying.  Yes, constipation and crap technology made me cry.  It's awesome, I love being so in control of my emotions.

Gender:  I am still pretty set on girl for this kid BUT I had another baby boy dream.  I think that's 2 for boy and 1 for girl...and I still call it a 'he'.

Bumpdate:

Damn, I was trying to show you guys the belly button, but you really can't see it in this piccie!

Bumpdate - 29 Weeks

I feel extremely uninspired to blog lately.  I've started to feel really emotional and overwhelmed and oddly those are not emotions that spur me to blog.  It's usually sadness or anger that really rile up a good blog post

But I began my bumpdates, so I must finish my bumpdates.

Here we go.

How far along: 29 weeks...holy shit.

Weight Gain: +1, we're up 17 lbs.

What's Up with My Body: I feel fine.  If these bumpdates ever came on a day where I'm doubled over in pain from gas or when my Braxton Hicks feel like they're coming constantly then I would obviously not be writing "fine". But the days I have problems are so infrequent and are honestly nothing to worry about...I just like to freak out about them in the moment...that I have no trouble disregarding them and moving on as soon as they're over.  So, today and yesterday I feel fine.  And aside from the 2 days of gas pains, I've felt fine all week.  No heartburn, no swelling, no stretch marks, I don't feel huge yet, I am sleeping fine...what else is there?  The gas situation seem to have been relieved by a bowel movement, but as far as I know I was not really constipated as I'd had a bowel movement the same morning the gas pains started, what's up with that?!

A lot of people seem to be complaining about sleep at about this point in pregnancy and I'm happy to say that my sleeping has stayed the same pretty much the whole pregnancy.  Yes I do get up 2-3 times a night to pee every single night, but I have no trouble falling asleep, I have no trouble falling BACK to sleep after I'm up to pee and I don't wake up in pain, other than some very mild back pain every once in awhile.  Not something I'll complain about.

It also feels like a lot of people begin complaining about their bulk at this point. Sizewise I honestly don't feel that much different.  Other than the bump, which kind of just feels like an extra appendage, my body still feels like my own.  There is a bit of grunting that happens when I go from a reclining or horizontal position to a vertical one, but that's more of a trouble bending situation rather than a bulk situation.  I do not actually feel bigger.  The bump also feels a bit heavy when I go from reclining to standing, but it's just for a moment and if I'm up and about I don't notice the extra bump weight.

Is this when I start being happy that I'm only up 17 lbs?

I think so.

Movement:  I've started to feel baby hiccups sporadically.  They're very light and so different from all of the hard kicking and punching that seems to be going on the rest of the time.  Oh and we officially have baby in the lungs!  Oomph, really takes your breathe away when you get kicked in the lungs!

Emotions:  I am quite the emotional basketcase lately.  I know it's hormonal, it FEELS hormonal, but sometimes I just can't help myself and tears just start pouring down my face...for no real reason.  It's usually in the middle of what is SUPPOSED to be a discussion (you know the ones where you're actively trying to NOT argue and just DISCUSS without getting too emotional?) but I can't turn it off, the emotions are just too close to the surface these days.

I'm very overwhelmed with what we've got going on at our house and it puts me on edge.  While I am busy worrying about getting the nursery ready and having a serene space to give birth in, the hubs seems to be worrying about getting THE WHOLE HOUSE done, which leaves the whole house UNDONE.  We have tons of little projects that we've been putting off for awhile and suddenly he's VERY worried about doing them NOW.  In my head I would rather not worry about them too much, finish the nursery and keep plugging away at them one by one, as I believe a few weeks after the baby is born we will have figured out how to live life again and it won't be a huge deal to have an electrician come in after the initial weeks that we're figuring out a newborn.  But it seems he may be more nervous about the impending changes than he would like to admit and he seems to think that after baby is born we will NEVER have a chance to finish up these little projects.  He would never admit that, but his behavior says otherwise.

And if I'm being really honest (and let's face it, when am I not?) I'm really sad that I'm going to miss out on a 2nd birthday this year because of a pregnancy.  Dom turns 40 in a month and we're going to have a big BBQ party here at the house.  My birthday is a month later and what are we going to do for it?  Nothing.  We'll be sitting around waiting for a baby.  Last year was my 30th, what did we do for it?  Nothing.  We were too excited that we were pregnant.  I hate that I'm upset by this because you know, WE'RE HAVING A BABY, what better gift could a girl ask for, but THIS girl wants a party FOR HER...having a baby is not just going to magically change my personality and make me not care.  So, there you have it, selfish, bitchy, but the honest truth about having a due date 2 days after your own birthday.  It's like the whole of my 30th year was gobbled up by pregnancies...and not in a good way.

What I'm Looking Forward To:  Trip to NYC for my baby shower in T minus 2 days!!!  Dreading the flight but really looking forward to seeing all of my friends one last time before I have this baby!

Bumpdate: If you couldn't guess from the picture, husband is gone again.

This, my friends, is a maternity dress!  Pea in the Pod.  Why oh why can I not take a straight picture with the iPhone?

Bumpdate - 28 Weeks

I've been in a bit of a blogging rut this week since the last few miscarriages were announced.  I don't know what it is about these latest ones specifically but they've made me hit the skids on whatever it was I was going to blog about. I couldn't bring myself to blog about nurseries and glucose tests and whatever the hell else was on my mind when these ladies were dealing with the hell of a miscarriage.

I almost even skipped today.

But it's Wednesday and I've been really good about getting these out on time, so I have to bumpdate.

Let's get to it.

Regardless of what book you are reading I AM IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER and 7 months pregnant!

I feel like this was the last big milestone before you know...birth.

How far along: 28 Weeks

Weight Gain: Nothing this week, so +16 bringing me to a whopping 138 lbs.

Food: My first official food craving of Pregnancy #2 is...SWEETS!  I'm all over sweets.  If you don't know, I'm NOT a sweets/dessert kind of girl...at all.  I will almost always pass on dessert.  But on Sunday night at 7:30pm suddenly I desperately wanted dessert and since we don't keep sweets in the house this required us to seek out said dessert.  Unfortunately it was Sunday and this is not NYC which means a lot of places were closed, but luckily this is still San Francisco and thus a big enough city that we found ONE OF THE BEST DESSERT PLACES IN THE CITY still open until 8pm and not far from us.  So we hopped in the car and drove out to get dessert.  We got an eclair and a piece of chocolate cake to split between the two of us and I consumed every last crumb of my half.  DELICIOUS.  The next day I then proceeded to eat my husband's half of the eclair because he hadn't had his the night before, HE SAID IT WAS OK!  Then today I stopped for a donut on the way home from yoga.  Yeah, sweets craving is in full effect, I haven't wanted sweets like this since Pregnancy Numero Uno.  Clearly the baby has a sweet tooth.

In other food news, twice more I've had to get up at 5am to eat because my tummy was growling so loudly I just couldn't ignore it.  But other than at 5am I am not feeling overly hungry, SO WEIRD.

What's Up With My Body:  Things are generally calm.  No heartburn, no constipation, no swelling, no stretch marks.  I'm starting to have a bit of back pain if I sit in my chair at the computer too long or if I'm cooking too long.  Something about my posture when I'm chopping and then tending to food on the stove has started to really hurt my back.  And it's not the lower back ache I would normally associate with pregnancy and carrying a heavier load in the front, it's up high between my shoulder blades!  Not sure how to fix the situation other than to quite cooking ;-)

Speaking of cooking, does anyone else feel like they're cooking their baby when they use their stove?  My stomach is perfecty level with the stovetop whilst cooking and I literally feel like I'm roasting my baby. They caution us against taking baths but not about roasting baby in utero with the stovetop?

Movement:  Baby has been breech (I think!) for most of the pregnancy as I pretty consistently feel kicks down low in my pelvis and only sometimes up around my middle, but I think baby may have finally flipped over and is no longer breech.  I felt a very distinct roll or flip or something that was completely unlike anything I'd felt before and now I'm feeling baby kicks more consistently up by my ribs and belly button and very rarely down in my pelvis. This makes me happy because as much as it doesn't matter what position baby is in right now it DOES matter in just a few short weeks because WE ARE NEARING THE END.

Things I Need To Do: Find a pediatrician. OMG, really?  I honestly didn't realize you should find a pediatrician BEFORE you had your baby...luckily there is one down the street that both Dom and I did a bit of research on independently and unbeknownst to one another and I think we both agree that we'd like to give it a whirl.  I think you're supposed to go in and interview them or meet them pre-baby though, yes?

Finish nursery.  You guys will be happy to hear that I've made progress on my nursery without really buying anything more.  I bought the crib which I told you about but it only arrived 2 weeks ago and we just put it together last weekend.  I will do a nursery post soon so you can see what I'm doing, but honestly I didn't buy much besides a crib.  But it's damn cute...you just wait.

Milestone:  I have my glucose test tomorrow and unlike most of your glucose tests mine is done at my house and it's done with FOOD rather than that disgusting sweet orange drink.  I'll post about it tomorrow after I'm done but I basically have pancakes and we test my blood based off THAT glucose rather than the drink.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm totally looking forward to it because I don't really eat carbs and thus I haven't had pancakes in YEARS!

Bumpdate:

I am aware of how fabulous my hair looks, for some reason I decided to take it out of it's up-do...clearly a wonderful decision.

Kitty photo bomb!

And one more because I believe my bump is finally growing and because I obviously look fabulous post yoga class.

Bumpdate - 27 Weeks

Well, it's Wednesday again.

Time to bumpdate.

The good news is that my cold FINALLY went away.  It stuck around for a solid week and a half.  That's 10 full days of phlegm and hacking.  FUN.  But thank god we're past that now and let's hope I'm not destined for 1 cold per trimester...I don't want to have to survive one more.

So, just like with the discrepancy about when the 2nd trimester starts there is the same discrepancy about when the 3rd trimester starts.

I SAY IT STARTS NOW.

But some books say it's not until next week.

Screw it, I'm going with the school of thought that says it's this week.

So, Yay, 3rd Trimester people!

How Far Along: 27 Weeks

Weight Gain: Up another pound FINALLY after stalling out for a full month, +16 total.  Wasn't the majority of the weight gain supposed to be in trimester 2?  I suppose I gained 10 lbs in the 2nd trimester which was twice as much as the first...I honestly thought I would gain more.

Maternity Clothes: I brought this one back into the mix because I just have to mention that maternity clothes, specifically dresses still do not fit me.  There is too much room in the bump area and my bump just doesn't fill it out.  By the time my bump is big enough for maternity dresses I will be ready to give birth.  This makes me sad because dresses are the most comfortable thing ever while you're pregnant but only a very specific type of non-maternity dress can be worn during pregnancy.  I'm down to like 5 in my rotation and ALWAYS looking for new ones, but having a lot of trouble.  I keep trying, keep buying maternity dresses, cheap, expensive, everything, looking for something and I have exactly 2 that I can wear and even they are a bit too big in the bump.  So, to maternity dress makers, MAKE SOME CLOTHES FOR SMALLER BUMPS PLEASE!  That being said I love maternity tank tops and wear them whenever I don't have a dress on.

What's Up With My Body:  Let's bullet point today shall we?

• Braxton Hicks contractions are evil and Mr. Braxton Hicks is the devil.  I hate these things with every fiber of my being.  They cause me so much stress that I don't know how I'm going to survive the next 13 weeks.  Here's the thing, I start to get them A LOT if I'm tired, if I'm dehydrated, if I'm on my feet too long and apparently for a million other reasons.  Midwives say don't worry about them unless you have more than 4 an hour or if they're painful and I SWEAR I'm having 4 an hour but when I sit down to count them, guess what happens?  Oh yes, they slow down, I've never counted more than 3.  And they don't hurt but holy hell it's uncomfortable when they're almost constant.  It's like walking around with your tummy constantly flexed.  And in a state of SHEER TERROR that this is the beginning of labor

If you couldn't guess my husband is out of town again, I seem to only stress about preterm labor when he's gone.  This is his last trip for the duration of the pregnancy THANK GOD and you just know I'll never have a day of Braxton Hicks again.

• I've started having crazy dreams again.  I had a bunch in the beginning and then they seemed to go away during the 2nd trimester but now as we hit the 3rd they seem to be returning.  I keep having anxiety dreams, birth dreams, and the latest and greatest SPIRIT SMOKE BABY DREAMS.  Are you guys watching the new season of Game of Thrones?  If you are then you know the crazy red haired lady who gives birth to the smoke monster?  Well, I birthed something similar to that, except it was blue and it was a baby, not a full grown man, AND IT WASN'T EVIL.  But I birthed a spirit smoke baby and had to push it back in because the baby wasn't ready to be born yet...and you know...it was a smoke baby but after I pushed it back in I started having all these cramps, I woke up to discover I HAD TO PEE, oh yes, pushing my spirit baby back in was just my body's way of saying WAKE UP AND PEE.

• My stomach muscles are totally weird.  I have a post for you tomorrow all about the diastasis recti complete with PICTURES!

• Normal symptoms have all but disappeared, I had one afternoon of heartburn and one day of constipation...no swelling, no headaches, no back pain...still doing good physically, waiting for it all to go to shit.

Emotions: I'm ready to be done with this pregnancy.  Not because I hate being pregnant, I don't mind it at all and I kind of love the bump.  But the stress of worrying constantly is taking it's toll, and I'm ready to be done.  I hate that I can't let go and quit worrying as I'm not a worrier by nature but the miscarriage took it's toll and I'm always waiting for the next thing to go wrong.  I'm tired.  Very very tired of worrying.

Movement: Baby seems to enjoy spicy food and baths/showers.  If I eat anything spicy I get a lot of somersaults and kicks and when I sit in the bath baby has her own little dance party in there.  We like baths.

Bumpdate: I figured out where and how baby is growing.  Baby is growing up and sideways, not so much out.  I can feel baby kicks just an inch or so below my boobs, though not in my ribs or lungs yet and i can feel baby WAY out to the sides, like so far out there I had no idea my uterus could even BE out there.  You guys know the old wives tale about girls growing wide and boys growing out right?  Well, if that's true this is a girl.  And honestly...I officially think this is a girl.

Rockin more non-maternity wear.  This is J. Crew.

Bumpdate - 26 Weeks

First things first, I must alert you all to the fact that I have less than 100 days left of pregnancy.

Don't tell me about going over 40 weeks, I KNOW, in fact I'm hoping to go OVER by a week, remember?

But that's not the point.  The point is that the ticker says 98 days!

And in other news...

I'm still sick.

My poor, sickly, sad little asthmatic lungs take normal 2 day colds and turn them into week long affairs.

There's a lot of mucus...and not the fun kind that I normally talk about, like CERVICAL mucus.  Just the disgusting kind...in my nose, in my throat, in my chest.

Mucus, mucus, everywhere.

And the coughing.

Oh the coughing.

Hot steamy showers where I just sit in the shower, not in the water and try to breathe in the steam have become my new obsession to try to loosen the phlegm and ease the coughing.

And because I'm miserable and obviously already complaining.

Guess what SF has that I wasn't anticipating when I moved here?

ALLERGIES!

Motherfucker.

It's gorgeous weather here, 80 degrees and sunny and I can't go outside because not only do I sound like a 75 year old smoker with my hacking cough but because the ALLERGIES will attack me and I will live to regret it.  In fact several days I did regret it and have vowed to stay inside for the rest of allergy season.

So, back to pregnancy.

Pregnancy has been boring this week.

NO GROWTH.  NO WEIGHT GAIN.  Ok there's a LITTLE bump growth in the last 2 days since my last post...don't worry I have pictures.

I am either:

a) growing a tiny baby

b) losing weight while baby is gaining so that we're evening out.

or

c) about to have a massive growth spurt in which both baby and I gain like 5 lbs in a week...

Whatever.  Baby is kicking like crazy and I'm too sick to keep worrying about it.

So, bumpdate:

How far along: 26 Weeks

Weight Gain: +15...still.

What's Up With My Body:  Nothing.  No constipation.  No heartburn.  No swelling.  No stretch marks.  No symptoms of pregnancy whatsoever other than this bump on my belly that keeps kicking me and the baby's new trick...STRETCHING.  So uncomfortable when baby stretches out, I end up poking him and nudging him to encourage him to STOP WITH THE STRETCHING.

Food: As most of you know I haven't had any true cravings or aversions this pregnancy at all.  But the latest and greatest thing to happen in the food department is that I had to get up one morning at 5am TO EAT because I was starving.  Of course I was already awake hacking up a lung so I thought, WHY NOT EAT AND HACK AT THE SAME TIME?  I've been ravenously hungry twice since then at 5am but haven't bothered to get up...sleep is better.

And.

Eating too much makes me want to vomit now.  There's just no room left, if I eat too much it threatens to come right back up.  No vomit yet, but boy we've come close!

Emotions: I cry for no reason.  TV makes me cry...a lot, for no reason.  More than once I've found myself bawling and then laughing because I was bawling...at nothing.  Luckily I am alone when this has happened otherwise that would have been embarrassing.

Bumpdate: Let's all obsessively analyze these photos I took for you shall we?

I BELIEVE that my bump looks bigger at 23 weeks in the purple dress than it does at almost 26 weeks, but I believe it's bigger at 26 weeks in the gray tank top than at 22 weeks.

I DIDN'T SAY IT HADN'T GROWN SINCE 22 WEEKS!  Obviously it has, it's the 23 that I'm stuck on.

Let's obsess....I mean analyze some more.

After careful analysis I suppose it's clear that the bump has grown.  BUT I swear it just happened in the last two days.

If you look at 24 and 25, those suckers are the SAME, in fact 24 looks bigger, can you see where the crazy came from?

I'm done now.  Obsession OVER.

And onwards and upwards people we have just 1 more week until we're in the 3rd Trimester!!!

Bumpdate - 25 Weeks

I'm sick.

Again.

I was really hoping that dreadful cold I had at 14 weeks would be the only time I was sick during pregnancy, BUT I GUESS NOT.

I just want to curl up into a little ball with a bottle of NyQuil and sleep until I feel better...they should totally make a Pregnancy NyQuil...

On to the belated bumpdate.

How far along: 25 weeks

Weight Gain: Same +15 lbs, though at the midwife appt on Monday it said 141 lbs (first time she's weighed me), mine says 137, I even double checked it again this morning.  That's a 4 lb discrepancy between scales!  But my beginning weight was done on mine, so we're using mine as the TRUE weight ;-)

What's Up with My Body:  Generally I've felt really good this week.  I went a WHOLE WEEK without constipation.  Heartburn was minimal and I just feel pretty good.  Calm before the storm of the third trimester?

But...

I'm starting to get uncomfortable if I do too much during the day.  If I walk for long distances my feet, hips and lower back start to hurt.

And I've made an interesting discovery this week as I attempted to find something appropriate to wear for a hike...

MY HIPS HAVE WIDENED.

I have all these cargo pants that I only wear when I'm about to participate in an activity in which I might get dirty, such as hiking, and as I went to try them on with my bellaband (I knew they weren't going to fit over the belly!) I discovered the won't really even fit over my hips!  It's strange because my thighs aren't wider, nor is my ass, but the tops of pants REALLY struggle at the top to get over the hips!  My body is REALLY getting ready to give birth!

And...

Possibly the strangest thing to happen in pregnancy that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT (aside from the leaking boobs!)

My stomach muscles have begun to separate!!!

About 2 weeks ago I discovered in the bathtub that if I used my stomach muscles to pull myself up or lower myself down I had this ridge that popped up down the center of my tummy.

IT WAS SO STRANGE.

I felt like a dinosaur with a ridge down their back...except mine was down my tummy. I suspected it may be my stomach muscles separating but I mistakenly thought that meant I MUST BE OUT OF SHAPE and that would have been really embarrassing!  So at my midwife appt on Monday I asked WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DINOSAUR RIDGE DOWN MY STOMACH?  And sure enough she answered that it's my stomach muscles separating AND THAT IT HAPPENS SOONER IN WOMEN WITH TIGHTER ABDOMINAL MUSCLES.  Wait, what?  Really?  I totally thought it was because I was out of shape, turns out it's because tighter muscles don't stretch as much.  So...groovy!  My TIGHT stomach muscles apparently mean I have a dinosaur ridge now if I use my tummy muscles.  I am NOT looking forward to getting those muscles back in shape after baby!

So, WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT DIASTASIS RECTI (separating abdominal muscles)?  I can't even tell you how many pregnant blogs I read and NO ONE talks about this!  Also, it happens in MOST pregnancies, so really, does no one else find this as fascinating as I do?

Best Moment of the Week: I've started to feel really small bump-wise and like I'm not growing much from week to week anymore, so I was happily surprised at my midwife appt to find out that the bump (and theoretically the baby) are growing on track and we're measuring right at 25 weeks.

Bumpdate: I'm sick remember, my bed isn't made, there are clothes everywhere, I have no make up on, but I put on jeans for you guys...which is more than I've done in the last 2 days...so enjoy.

Bumpdate - 24 Weeks

We did it.

We made it to viability.

Baby now has a chance to survive outside the womb.

BABY CAN SURVIVE OUT OF THE WOMB!

Sure baby would need an assload of medical intervention and it would be months before we took the kid home, but premature labor is no longer a death sentence and that MAKES ME HAPPY!

Maybe I will quit worrying about premature labor now.

Ok, probably not.

So, on to the bumpdate.

How far along: 24 Weeks

Weight Gain:  As of this morning it looks as though I did not gain any weight this week, so still up 15 lbs.

Movement: Baby is pretty consistently hanging out down in my pelvic girdle, giving me little baby kicks throughout the day and then moves up at night to hang out under my belly button, giving Dom a chance to feel the baby kicks and me a chance to SEE them.  It's amusing to watch the belly move around.

Best Moment of the Week: We sat and watched a full hour long show with me laying down and Dom's hand on my belly and baby kept kicking away through the whole show.  Since it's usually just me and the baby, It was a cute little moment with all 3 of us hangin out.

Gender: I think girl this week especially after going to prenatal yoga and seeing all the different bumps (oh yes I FINALLY went to prenatal yoga, TWICE!) , there are some very distinctly basketball boy bumps and others with a bit more smashed bumps like myself that I'm convinced are girl bumps, I should start polling people to see if I can accurately guess the gender of their babies via their bumps.  I also now have random strangers telling me since my bump is so little for 6 months along that I MUST be having a girl.  Yep, the unsolicited advice/information that is bestowed upon all pregnant women everywhere has begun.

What's Up With My Body:  After having a million things going on with the bod last week, this week there is very little.

Heartburn stayed away all week until I had an orange yesterday, but went away again a few hours after said orange.

Constipation...once a week.

Again I woke up from a nap with a milk stain on my shirt.  Why does this only happen after napping and never in the AM after sleeping at night?  Can anyone explain this to me?  It seems rather ambiguous to sometimes have one boob leak while sleeping specifically during the day.  Still one of the weirdest things about pregnancy for me.

And for the amusement of all, after several close calls, it finally happened, the bump toppled me over.  I was in Target, one hand had a phone, another had a pack of onesies and as I squatted down to take a look at something on the lowest shelf, I made it halfway down and realized I had way miscalculated my center of gravity and couldn't keep myself up, and with no free hands to stop myself, down I went.  I fell right on my ass in the middle of the baby section at Target...in a dress no less.  Ugh, so embarrassing.  At least I'm not peeing myself yet.  I'm sure that's what I  have to look forward to next as we approach the 3rd trimester.

Bumpdate:  Husband gone again.  He's gone again next week too, busy traveling time for him as he finishes off a lot of work and starts amping down the travel to get ready for HIS WIFE GOING INTO LABOR.  I'm not gonna lie, as the pregnancy progresses, the travel has started to make me more and more nervous as I imagine myself going into labor and him being far away.  NOT FUN.  But just a few more weeks and he should be home until the birth.  CAN'T WAIT!  But until then, you're gonna keep getting iPhone self-portraits!

Yet another Old Navy NON-Maternity dress.  As long as they're flowy on the bottom and have an empire waist their regular dresses still fit fine!

Bumpdate - 23 Weeks

Oh boy, here we are, 23 weeks, just 1 more week until viability.

Sorry I've been a bit absent on the blogging front, I honestly just don't have much to blog about these days.  Pregnancy is progressing smoothly, life is decidedly boring (in a good way) and I've got nothing I want to talk about or bitch about lately!

As birth draws near I imagine I'll want to start talking about THAT, but for now...I've got nothing.

But bumpdate, let's get to it!

How far along: 23 weeks

Weight Gain: Up another pound, that's 15 lbs. total.

Movement:  I had the pleasure of officially getting kicked in the bladder this past week.  Luckily I was in Lowe's the first time and close enough to a bathroom, but OMG, I thought I was going to pee my pants.  Then it happened another time while walking and nowhere near a bathroom and just so you all know, the sensation goes away if you can breathe through the initial sensation of PEE NOW and you won't necessarily pee your pants (although some of you will, LOL!).

What's Up with My Body:  I have a lot to say about my body this week, we'll use bullet points

• Heartburn, my disappearing, reappearing symptom was around every afternoon for the first half of the week and then just as suddenly as it appeared, it has disappeared again.

• Constipation, still just once a week, but once a week is enough to make me want to cry once a week.

• Peeing/sleep.  I did a little experiment with water and my nighttime routine.  You see a bunch of you write that you're up ONCE a night to pee and I'm up 3 times a night to pee...minimum.  And I was jealous.  My problem is that I get EXTREMELY thirsty just before bedtime.  Doesn't matter how much I drank during the day and how much I try to hydrate so that I'm not thirsty close to bedtime, I'm still thirsty at bedtime, hence all the nighttime peeing.  But I hate all the nighttime peeing.  So, to experiment I quit drinking at 8pm and VOILA! I was only up once a night to pee that night.  BUT, I woke up with aching joints, you know DEHYDRATED aching joints, my hip and my knee and my elbow were KILLING me and forced me out of bed at 6am, at which point I chucked 3 glasses of water and started to feel better.  Experiment tells me, don't quit drinking water just because you don't want to get up in the middle of the night to pee, you'll regret it in the morning.  And besides, I'm figuring it's better preparing me for being up all the time with a newborn, no?

• Size.  My bump has made me crowd wary.  I no longer trust myself to be able to squeeze through throngs of people in a crowd or on a train.  Not only is my girth different but I'm losing my balance, so dodging and weaving through tiny spaces is no longer something I trust that I am able to do.  I also don't like people bumping into my belly, so when I'm in a crowded space I now step back away from the people and wrap my arms protectively around my belly.  WHY DO I DO THIS?  I have no idea.  It's instinctual honestly, I don't realize I'm doing it until I find myself on the sidelines with my arms wrapped protectively around myself.

• Speaking of balance, there was a funny incident involving me almost falling off during sex.  I'll leave it at that.

• Braxton Hicks have arrived.  Even though my midwife told me to not worry if I started to feel these...I still managed to convince myself I was in preterm labor again the other day, for no reason mind you other than two Braxton Hicks contractions in the same day HOURS apart...at least in another week I can be assured that baby has a chance to survive even if my worst nightmares come true and i DO go into preterm labor.  What is my irrational fear with preterm labor?  I'm low risk, have had an easy pregnancy and just generally have absolutely no reason to suspect preterm labor.  CRAZY CRAZY PREGNANT LADY!

• And to round of what's up with my body.  I woke from a nap 2 days ago with a full on milk stain on my shirt.  Not just a little spot, a full on stain the size of my nipple.  One of the oddest moments for me to date.  OMG THEY WORK.

Gender: Oh my goodness.  I had no idea not finding out the gender would be this confusing.  I thought for sure I would "know" and that would be that.  The boy dream and the fact that I always reference the baby as a 'he' speaks highly of my subconscious knowing it's a boy BUT we keep focusing on girl names...without meaning to and without really thinking about it, we just keep throwing around girl names, I don't remember the last time we talked boy names.

Emotions:  I had my first real moment of I Want To Meet You Now Baby!  I realize I have 17 more weeks to go and generally I'm enjoying pregnancy, so it wasn't a desire to just be done with pregnancy already, but I've officially been pregnant for 9 months now...and I am ready to meet baby!

Best Moment of the Week:  Best and worst kind of combined.  We decided WAY back at the beginning of this pregnancy that at 24 weeks, viability week, Dom would discuss paternity leave with work and we would sell our Olympics tickets.  REMEMBER WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS!  Well, 24 weeks is just a week away and the Olympics are just 100 days away.  TIME TO GET MOVING.  Best moment because it's like OMG we're there, we made it!  And worst moment because it's like SHIT, more stuff to do...as though there isn't already too much to do to plan for a new baby.

Bumpdate:  Husband gone again! You have to settle for craptastic iPhone self portraits.  PS. This is a non-maternity dress from Old Navy that fits SO MUCH BETTER than their crap maternity dresses.