The Dirty Little Sleep Secret

Wow.  I blinked and 2 weeks flew by without me posting a damn thing.

So, here's what's been going on in Brennan household...

Sleeping has been shitty.

Baby Jett has been a BAD BAD sleeper lately. 

And when Jett's a bad sleeper we all suffer.

We were running into several different problems and they were all colliding making nighttime HELL and something I began to dread each and every day.

It all started with that awful night when I was by myself and he was little Screamy McScreamerson.  Ever since then every night he became a fussy little monster sometime around 7:00-8:00pm and without fail we had 2 hours (sometimes longer!) of terror baby before he would finally settle down to sleep.  This resulted in us and baby going to bed sometime between 9:00-midnight all together.  Some nights when things were very bad he would end up sleeping ON one of us because after 2+ hours of a fussy baby you just do whatever works to get him to sleep.  

We just accepted this as the way it was and tried to grin and bear it, hoping he would just grow out of it.

He WAS also at this point still giving me 3 hour stretches of sleep.   Only waking up briefly to nurse in the sidelying position and then back to sleep.

Then that changed and now he's on a EVERY 2 HOURS ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT nursing regime.  And the amazing sidelying position to nurse at night is no longer working as he ends up spitting up on me so that we both have to get up and get changed or he starts screaming half an hour after eating because he needs to burp.

And then shitty nights turned into shitty days as the only way I could get the baby to sleep and stay asleep was to sleep ON ME.  So not only was I getting no longer than 2 hour stretches of sleep at night but now all day long I had a baby chained to me and I felt like I couldn't get anything done.  I spent all day getting baby to sleep, trying to put baby down, baby wakes up screaming and repeat over and over again.  I WAS EXHAUSTED.

Something had to change.

After talking with my midwife about all of this we've decided on a few things.

The first thing we did is bedtime moved to 7pm.  No more waiting for him to wake up from his afternoon napping and then dealing with his meltdown for two hours.  If we can get him to bed BEFORE he melts down and becomes terror baby he sleeps through his witching hour.   If that means his afternoon nap immediately becomes bedtime, THAT'S GREAT.  Apparently Baby Jett was just overtired in the evening as this seems to work wonders with no more fussy baby in the evening.

We also are coming to the conclusion that Baby Jett may have a bit of reflux.  He cries when he burps or spits up like it hurts...and he spits up a lot.  And he despises being put down to sleep on his back.  So at the suggestion of my midwife I did something very taboo.

I PUT BABY TO SLEEP ON HIS BELLY.

And it was like magic.

I CAN NOW GET BABY TO SLEEP ANYWHERE.

Do you know what this means?!  

This means I can do laundry.  This means I can cook dinner.  This means I can EAT.  This means I can take more than 2 seconds to get dressed in the morning.  IT MEANS I CAN BLOG AGAIN.

It's freedom.

After making this wonderful discovery yesterday I discovered something else too.

Basically ALL PARENTS END UP DOING THIS AT SOME POINT.  And no one talks about it because you're not "supposed to" do it.  

Well I'm here to tell you that ESPECIALLY if you have a reflux baby putting them to sleep on their belly works wonders and I wish someone would have let me in on this dirty little secret weeks ago!

As to the nighttime...we're still struggling...and no one has any brilliant suggestions for me that I haven't tried.  Some nights he'll give me 3 hour stretches, other nights, like last night, he'll give me one 2 hour stretch and then up every hour after that. 

Big sigh.

I can only hope that Baby Jett grows out of this soon because otherwise come 4 months or 14 pounds Baby Jett is going to end up in his nursery...and there might be lots of crying involved...both his and mine.  But I can't keep on like this.

Everyone cross your fingers that we start making some progress in the nighttime sleep department and that it improves just like the daytime sleeping.

Is there some other dirty little nighttime secret that no one is sharing with me because it's something else we're not "supposed to" do just like the belly sleeping?

Life

Everything in my house smells like breast milk.

My boobs are massive.

And my baby is absolutely tiny.

We're down to 5 lbs 6.5 oz, he doesn't even fit into newborn clothes...we're in preemie stuff.

But he's nursing like a champ...and damn he's cute.

Grown Up Decisions

Last week was a bit of a babypalooza.

Monday was childbirth class.

Wednesday we interviewed our first pediatrician.

Thursday we had a group prenatal appt.

Baby, baby, baby, all the time baby.

I suppose this is what happens as you come to the end.  Your focus goes from all things pregnancy to all things baby.

Suddenly we've had to become parents without actually having the baby yet.

We made decisions AS PARENTS last week.

First thing we decided?

Everyone who comes near baby for the first 2 months has to have a whooping cough vaccine.  This is entirely because of the area of the world that we live in.  Marin County, just over the bay, is both one of the most under vaccinated counties in the country AND had a whooping cough outbreak a few years ago that killed some babies.

So, better safe than sorry, we're all getting vaccinated.

Second decision?

We picked our kid's first pediatrician.

We are big crunchy hippies apparently (seriously San Francisco, you could at least make me WORK to be the big fat crunchy hippie that I apparently am)  as we've chosen an "integrative medicine" practice ie. holistic and western medicine "integrated", that believes FOOD IS MEDICINE.

Music to my ears.

I believe wholeheartedly in the power of food to heal chronic ailments.  And I always strive to fix any imbalance naturally before resorting to western medicine for things like bladder infections, yeast infections, etc etc.

Did you know garlic and olive oil can heal ear infections?  Yeah...it totally works.  I've done it.

If I would have ended up with a pediatrician who tried to tell me that a colicky baby wouldn't benefit from me changing my diet I would have gone apeshit.  Fussy breastfeeding baby?  First things first, CHANGE YOUR DIET.

Seriously, music to my ears.

And another added benefit?  The pediatrician is 3 blocks away.  And another benefit?  They do baby's first checkup in-home.  That's right, Dr. comes to us!  And another benefit?  They believe in homebirth.  And they believe in the parents right to choose what vaccines to give their babies. 

I've been prepared to have to fight my pediatrician on a lot of things, homebirth, delayed vaccinations, mama's diet when breastfeeding, SO MANY THINGS...and it turns out I probably won't have to.

Anyone else trying to find pediatricians and fall in love with the first one?

And anyone else finding it bizarre that you're making decisions for a child that doesn't actually exist outside the womb yet???  I had to fill out forms and instead of putting my name under "patient name" it went under "parent name"!!!

Shit's getting real.

Simplicity

I will never know if my less than simple journey to motherhood has tainted my desire to get ready for this baby or if this is just me and what would have happened even if I had fallen pregnant our first month of trying.

But I can't foresee myself buying much more than I already have for baby.

I bought a crib...I know I need a stroller/car seat just in case we have to have this baby in the hospital...I bought some onesies...and I want a moby wrap or some sort of baby carrier.  But other than those few items I think I'm done.

I don't want to register because I have no idea what I will need until after baby is here, so why do I need it now?

I'm not necessary someone who enjoys simplicity, in fact normally I like "stuff", I like to have things just because they are pretty and not necessarily because they are functional.  In fact I love unnecessary shit.

I decorate with completely useless knick knacks.

I buy dressy clothes even if I have no occasion to wear them.

I love pretty crap.

But when it comes to baby, I think I might be all about simplicity.

To me, it seems that 100 years ago, maybe even 50 years ago you didn't NEED anything to have a baby.  You just had the baby and baby used the same things as you.

Why do babies now need so much crap?

I plan on breastfeeding exclusively, so I'm not buying bottles.

I plan on co-sleeping so I don't need an extra baby sleeper to put near our bed.

I plan on carrying baby with me the majority of places I go, so I'll get myself moby wrap/sling.

I plan on cloth diapering, but everyone says it's a bit of a trial and error, so I don't see why I can't use disposables for the first week or two while we adjust to having a baby and then dive into cloth diapers.

I know the kid needs some clothes, but...does it really?  What if we all just hang out naked for the first week while we figure things out?  Who's that going to hurt?  And THEN we will know if baby is a boy or girl and I can go all out making the kid fancy.  But why does that need to happen pre-baby?

Toys?  Newborns can't hardly see their hands, let alone use them, this can wait.

Pacifier?  Yes, I might want one, but apparently the first 10-14 days it's super important to not let baby latch onto anything besides your boob so that you can get your milk supply going.  Pacifiers can wait.

Pump?  I don't plan on pumping...at all.  And again with the 10-14 days, you're also not supposed to pump and only use baby to get your supply going.

Burp clothes and receiving blankets?  Yes, I'll probably pick up a few of these just so I have some, but again, I'd rather wait until after baby is born so I can buy colors other than green and gray.

I'm sure I'm missing something, but I don't know what.

Am I making this too simple?  Not planning enough?

I'm aware that I've never had a baby and HAVE NO IDEA what to expect, but women have been doing this for thousands of years with NOTHING but our boobs...I'm embracing the primal instincts that ARE pregnancy and motherhood and it's not about the stuff.

But in case I'm missing some biggies, new mommies, what was ABSOLUTELY necessary in the first week or two of babies life?