Sunday, February 26, 2012

PAIL: Pregnancy/Parenting After Infertility and Loss

Every single infertility blogger wants to someday cross over to the other side and have their infertility blog turn into a pregnancy blog and later into a mommy blog.

But every single one of us that pees on that stick and gets a longed for positive instead of the oft repeated negative has no idea how to make the transition.

Pregnancy after infertility and loss leaves you feeling very much in limbo.

We walk a fine line between not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings by talking about pregnancy too much and struggling to find a place where we belong with other pregnant bloggers who didn't have to fight to achieve their pregnancy.

All of your fellow infertiles who are still waiting for their BFP's probably don't want to hear you bitch about how uncomfortable pregnancy can be and since you've been there you realize that for anyone still in the trenches that complaining about pregnancy can be like a knife through the heart.

But let's face, pregnancy isn't all rainbows and unicorns and even though most of us pray for the nausea and fatigue and constipation to stick around just so we know we're still pregnant, it still makes for some pretty uncomfortable situations and sometimes you just gotta whine about it.

But on the other hand, those of us who have struggled/experienced loss just to get to this point have a really hard time relating to pregnant women who did not struggle to get here.  We don't feel like we belong with the "fertiles" but we know we're losing out place with the "infertiles".

Infertility is still a part of you, the loss is still a part of you, but you're on the path to motherhood and at some point you have to cross over.

So, what's a pregnant infertile blogger to do?

Elphaba has come up with an answer for us, a blogroll of other Pregnant/Parenting after Infertility and Loss bloggers, so we can all connect with each other and be in limbo together.

If you want to sign up and join, do it here.

And if at any time you want to check out the blogroll and find other preggo (or parent) infertiles just click my button on the right!

Update:  Apparently my button over there on the right does not work right now...I'm working on it and much to my chagrin IT'S NOT COOPERATING.  Hopefully in the very near future clicking on the button will work!!!


  1. Thanks for the link to Elphaba's page, I'll check it out more when I've got sometime.
    p.s. The blogroll image doesn't link anywhere.

  2. Well said. I'm really excited about the PAIL community!!

  3. Pretty awesome. There's a community for everyone :)

  4. Great idea, thanks for posting about it. I will join the blogroll for sure!

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