I've tried really REALLY hard to remain calm during this pregnancy and let nature do it's thing.
I declined early testing and early ultrasounds.
I declined my 12 week NT scan.
I've avoided calling my midwives panicking and have only had 1 extra appt to break up a 4WW to hear the heartbeat.
I've survived on hearing the heartbeat once every 2 weeks since I first heard it at 10 weeks.
Generally my symptoms have been enough to keep me sane and convinced that my baby is still alive.
But a few weeks ago in a moment of sheer panic I broke down and bought myself a fetal doppler.
Once it arrived I had talked myself down off whatever ledge had drove me to make such a rash purchase and the doppler stayed in it's box.
I've resisted every urge to use it MOSTLY because I was scared to death I wouldn't be able to find the heartbeat on my own and I was convinced this would cause more stress rather than relieve it.
But today I have a midwife appt and we'll hear the heartbeat, so yesterday, for no reason at all, other than I wanted to give it a shot, I opened up my fetal doppler.
And I found 85's heartbeat right away.
He ALWAYS seems to be hiding down in the bottom right hand side of my ute.
He ALWAYS seems to be hiding down in the bottom right hand side of my ute.
I must admit, it was pretty fucking cool.
So today I'm walking into my midwife's office a little bit more relaxed and a little bit less stressed and kind of loving my doppler.
But I've promised to leave the doppler in the box and use it no more than once a week. The promise is to my husband who thinks (rightly so) that using the doppler all the time is bad for baby as baby HATES it and tries to hide from it.
Anyone else buy a doppler? I feel like a neurotic crazy person with her own personal home doppler. I'm so embarrassed about my purchase I didn't tell my husband about it for a week and I have NO plans to tell my midwives. Such a far cry from the calm "let nature take it's course" pregnant lady that I'm striving to be!
But I've promised to leave the doppler in the box and use it no more than once a week. The promise is to my husband who thinks (rightly so) that using the doppler all the time is bad for baby as baby HATES it and tries to hide from it.
Anyone else buy a doppler? I feel like a neurotic crazy person with her own personal home doppler. I'm so embarrassed about my purchase I didn't tell my husband about it for a week and I have NO plans to tell my midwives. Such a far cry from the calm "let nature take it's course" pregnant lady that I'm striving to be!
In other news I NEED SOME HELP.
To all the other Blogger users who have added a PAIL button.
PLEASE SEND ME THE HTML THAT WORKED FOR YOU!
What Elphaba sent me doesn't work, my own tinkering with some google help doesn't work and I'm very near throwing my brand new MacBook Air against a wall because I AM SO FRUSTRATED.
Clearly I'm not a computer whiz. And I'm stumped!
So please please please, if you got the PAIL button to work, HELP ME OUT!
Update: PAIL button is FIXED!!!
Update: PAIL button is FIXED!!!
I bought the same exact doppler when I was pregnant w/my DD back in 09 after 2mc's. I used it every day until she started to move (which wasn't until after 20wks)& would have died w/out it. I know it's not the "norm", but sadly pregnancy after loss isn't normal. I think it's great you are able to hold of using for so long. You are doing much better than you give yourself credit for.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel crazy, I know others who have bought a doppler. I am sure, this next time around, I will be acting a fool as well and insist on getting one for myself. Like you said, just use it once a week when you are especially worried.
ReplyDeleteI think the Doppler is a great idea! I will be purchasing one FOR SURE!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're crazy at all. Almost every pregnant woman I know has a Doppler. I'll probably get one, too when/if I get pregnant. :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not crazy!! Pretty much every pregnant lady I'm reading who is far enough along to use a doppler has one. :)
ReplyDeleteJust sent you an email!
ReplyDeleteI had to buy one. On days where I feel so terrible and crampy I use it. I don't even use it once a week, mainly for the same reasons. My husband thought I was crazy when I bought it. The 4 weeks in between appointments was to hard for me to handle.
ReplyDeletethe one that worked for me was Elphie's email!
ReplyDeleteI bought a fetal doppler right around 12 weeks, and it has helped give me peace of mind, when I have those low moments where I need reassurance. I have the exact same one, and my doctor said it is fine, and he didn't seem surprised at all that I had bought one. I try to only use it every once and a while, but right now I am feeling the baby move every once and a while, so that is helping with the peace of mind for sure.
ReplyDeleteI see you are referring to 85 as a "He" - for the record, I think 85 is a "She" - just wanted to jot that down for future reference :)
ReplyDeleteDuly noted! I do call it a boy, I will be surprised if it's a girl!
Deleteboys are super fun!! So are girls but I wouldn't know from experience :) It will be fun to find out if my she theory is right! - and this is Kenzie, posted as anonymous...sorry for the anon
DeleteI have the same exact doppler. I'm so glad we have it. I will only use it once a week too. Hubs and I said we would do it together on Saturday or Sunday morning therefore he's not missing out.
ReplyDeleteUm, you're not crazy.... or maybe we're all crazy. Can you send me the link on amazon of the doppler you got? I'm definitely getting one. How early on do you think they start working?
ReplyDeleteThey don't work before 10 weeks and the earlier you are the harder they are to find the heartbeat. At 15 weeks I can find the heartbeat fine, but if you're trying in the 10-13 week range don't be surprised if you can't find the heartbeat. Totally the reason I didn't use it sooner! I was scared I wouldn't be able to find it and wouldn't be able to accept that that was because it was too early!
DeleteI bought mine at ebay here:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Sonoline-B-Fetal-heart-doppler-Backlight-LCD-3mhz-FDA-/310313993809?_trksid=p5197.m7&_trkparms=algo%3DLVI%26itu%3DUCI%26otn%3D1%26po%3DLVI%26ps%3D63%26clkid%3D6652274857331956188#ht_2505wt_335
Don't think you are crazy at all - all is fair in love and IF, I say. Glad you are finding the heartbeat easily - so cool!
ReplyDeleteI didn't buy a fetal heart monitor, but a friend at work had one and I'm borrowing it. And I'm quite sure I heard Paxlet's heartbeat for the first time yesterday (14+5). I tried a couple of times earlier, but didn't find it and the packaging says between 14-16 weeks, so I right in that range now. :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's good that you're prepared to listen to your body and give yourself peace of mind. I wish I had listened to my body and its signals instead of counting it as craziness, but I didn't know, it was my first pregnancy. It's better to be sure, and if that means using a Doppler at home, then do it...and don't be ashamed!!
ReplyDelete