Thursday, March 1, 2012

Pregnant IFers

If you have not yet received your BFP I strongly recommend you don't read this post.  I've been there and I know how much it hurts to feel like you are the only one still struggling and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings with this post.  But the reality is that I'm pregnant and I have to start living life as though I will STAY pregnant even though most of the time this is a concept I'm still struggling with.  This post is an effort to start moving in that direction.










This post is a celebration of pregnancy.

It is a celebration of all the BFP's that the IF community has been blessed with over the last few months.

I've struggled a lot with accepting pregnancy as a reality.  During my first pregnancy I went out of my way to seek out other newly pregnant bloggers, this backfired as I lost my baby and they went on to have their babies...or are HAVING them now, this is my EDD month!  I unfollowed them all and went back to IFers.

This time I've been EXTREMELY hesitant to seek out other pregnant bloggers.  Luckily the IF community was hit with a string of BFPs and I was already following a bunch of you when you received your news.  So, voila!  Pregnant buddies without me having to do a thing.

But lately, since this pregnancy is still progressing smoothly, I've been going out of my way to find MORE pregnant bloggers but this time I've stuck to pregnant IF bloggers.  I'm hoping this is a step in the right direction to help me better accept pregnancy and be more willing to wrap my brain around the idea of a happy outcome to pregnancy.

So today I removed my TTC Journey on the right hand side (though it's still a page at the top) and I added a blogroll of exclusively pregnant IFers.

Guess how many of you I found to add to this blogroll?

28

Holy shit!  28 pregnant IFers!

Most of you I have been following since long before your BFP.

Some of you I started following after I received my own BFP.

And some of you I just found through PAIL.

Some of you are a bit farther along than me.

Some of you are within a week of me.

And some of you are brand new and JUST received your BFP.

But I believe everyone is due between June and October.  We will all have babies within a few months of each other.

I don't care how pregnant you are, if you've received a BFP lately I added you.

And I'm absolutely amazed at how many of us there are.

I thought there would be 10...maybe 15.  I didn't realize the number was much much closer to 30.

I know that numbers are not always on our side and statistics would dictate that not all of us should get to keep our babies, especially in this community that always seems to have a higher number of tragedies.  So, in an effort to minimize emotional pain if this were to happen to any of us I promise to follow you all carefully and make sure that if any of you, god forbid, lose your babies I will remove you immediately from the blogroll so that you never have to see your name over there and cry.  I imagine it would be like getting a bump.com email about the next week in your pregnancy after you've lost your baby.  Been there, done that and I don't want to invoke those feelings I had for anyone who is dealing with a loss.

That being said I'm hoping to not have to remove ANY of you and even to ADD more IFers and that we as a group beat the odds!

Now, did I miss anyone?

UPDATE:  We're up to 34!!!

27 comments:

  1. This gave me chills! I love what you have done! I think it's amazing! I love all the new BFP! and I cant wait to find some new blogs to follow through your list on the side! Thank you for recognizing all of us it is so nice to share a special journey with someone who has been in your shoes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! Thanks so much for doing this. I have been trying to seek out positive pregnancy stories since I finally got my BFP. I care deeply about those who are still trying, and want to support them, but I just can't stay positive about own pregnancy when I continue to read posts about the struggles I know so well. I take on their worries, and carry them through the day. I know it is not good for my. So, again thank you for helping me find a way to surround myself with hope.

      Delete
  2. I did not heed your warning at the top, but I'm ok with it! :) I have one to add to your list: Lindsay from Adventures of Endo and Pregnancy in the Arctic

    http://adventuresofendointhearctic.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading anyway =)

      I will add Adventures of Endo immediately!

      Delete
  3. What a great idea! And it's very sweet of you to put a disclaimer at the top - I remember how painful it was to feel "left behind", and I love seeing bloggers who have struggled with infertility really trying to be sensitive to others who haven't had a positive pee stick yet!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this!!! I'll definitely be a new follow to some of these blogs, can't wait to check them out :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. OK I totaly love this but, I didnt make your Pregnant IFers list. I know I havent been great as of posting late.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for doing this Jesica, very cool idea!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've only found your blog a few weeks ago (although it feels like forever ago) and I'm totally enjoying it so far. That's a great list of prego IF bloggers! Giddy to see myself counted in there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Read your warning AND your blog post. You should absolutely get to celebrate being pregnant. I, for one, am celebrating vicariously through you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for continuing to read, you've been a continued source of support and I hope hope hope that I get to add you to my BFP blogroll over there someday soon.

      Delete
  9. 30!!!!!!!!! That's so amazing! I feel so honored to be on that list... still can't believe I'm pregnant!

    ReplyDelete
  10. So glad that you are able to accept the pregnancy and start thinking of yourself in a new group. And what a wonderful thing to think of all those people who were trying who are pregnant. Gives hope to many of us.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cool! I love this idea and will probably steal some blogs from your reader. I'm not sure if I'm on there or not, but I'd like to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh you weren't! Now you are!

      Delete
  12. Thanks for this! I only had about 20 of these ladies in my reader already, so you've introduced me to new friends!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for adding me! Great idea :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. What a great idea! Please add me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Done! How did I forget so many ;-) And we're up to 32!

      Delete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Must be something in the air! Could you please add me as well? I'm on PAIL but have to get my post up about what PAIL needs so my readers get it!

    ReplyDelete
  17. 32 is nuts!! Wowowow. 2012 is a magical year. I hope it stays that way!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fantastic idea!! You're welcome to add me too :-) I'm 16 weeks along like you. Just a joy to see how many of us have been getting BFPs lately and are due around the same time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally thought you were on there, oops! You're there now!

      Delete
  19. Finally got around to reading this post. :) it's wonderful to see so many bfp's. I'm happy to be one of them. Before I found PAIL I was trying to cope with a lot of guilt and nerves about getting my bfp. Please know you list helps! Hoping we all have a wonderfully uneventful 39 weeks.

    ReplyDelete