I will never know if my less than simple journey to motherhood has tainted my desire to get ready for this baby or if this is just me and what would have happened even if I had fallen pregnant our first month of trying.
But I can't foresee myself buying much more than I already have for baby.
I bought a crib...I know I need a stroller/car seat just in case we have to have this baby in the hospital...I bought some onesies...and I want a moby wrap or some sort of baby carrier. But other than those few items I think I'm done.
I don't want to register because I have no idea what I will need until after baby is here, so why do I need it now?
I'm not necessary someone who enjoys simplicity, in fact normally I like "stuff", I like to have things just because they are pretty and not necessarily because they are functional. In fact I love unnecessary shit.
I decorate with completely useless knick knacks.
I buy dressy clothes even if I have no occasion to wear them.
I love pretty crap.
But when it comes to baby, I think I might be all about simplicity.
To me, it seems that 100 years ago, maybe even 50 years ago you didn't NEED anything to have a baby. You just had the baby and baby used the same things as you.
Why do babies now need so much crap?
I plan on breastfeeding exclusively, so I'm not buying bottles.
I plan on co-sleeping so I don't need an extra baby sleeper to put near our bed.
I plan on carrying baby with me the majority of places I go, so I'll get myself moby wrap/sling.
I plan on cloth diapering, but everyone says it's a bit of a trial and error, so I don't see why I can't use disposables for the first week or two while we adjust to having a baby and then dive into cloth diapers.
I know the kid needs some clothes, but...does it really? What if we all just hang out naked for the first week while we figure things out? Who's that going to hurt? And THEN we will know if baby is a boy or girl and I can go all out making the kid fancy. But why does that need to happen pre-baby?
Toys? Newborns can't hardly see their hands, let alone use them, this can wait.
Pacifier? Yes, I might want one, but apparently the first 10-14 days it's super important to not let baby latch onto anything besides your boob so that you can get your milk supply going. Pacifiers can wait.
Pump? I don't plan on pumping...at all. And again with the 10-14 days, you're also not supposed to pump and only use baby to get your supply going.
Burp clothes and receiving blankets? Yes, I'll probably pick up a few of these just so I have some, but again, I'd rather wait until after baby is born so I can buy colors other than green and gray.
I'm sure I'm missing something, but I don't know what.
Am I making this too simple? Not planning enough?
I'm aware that I've never had a baby and HAVE NO IDEA what to expect, but women have been doing this for thousands of years with NOTHING but our boobs...I'm embracing the primal instincts that ARE pregnancy and motherhood and it's not about the stuff.
But in case I'm missing some biggies, new mommies, what was ABSOLUTELY necessary in the first week or two of babies life?
I admire your simplicity. I'd love to attempt it, but I think with two it would be like shooting myself in the foot! You'll likely have an opportunity or two to hop on amazon and order anything you NEED! Surely there will be something:)
ReplyDeleteI think now days so many people go way overboard for their babies- they spend a fortune on things that are only used for a few months or GASP- Not even used at all. I think second hand stores are great and picking up stuff used is great. Having a few things is helpful but so many people end up getting a bouncy seat, a swing, a play mat, a saucer, a jumper... EVERYTHING!! and then before they know it baby is crawling and no longer wants any of the stuff. There were things I definitely used and found helpful- registering and having a shower is nice because it takes some of the financial burden away, but not everyone needs help with finances. I'd say if finances allow you to, just buy the things you need as you need them :) You are right- a new born won't need much other than some blankets, burp cloths, those nightgown things are great cuz it is hard to keep them in anything else and that otta get you through the first few weeks!!
ReplyDeleteMust not have been signed in... That was from Me... Ali :)
DeleteThere are so few things that you need -
ReplyDelete-Pads because you bleed
-Ice packs for your bruised hoo haw
-nursing pads because your boobs leak (the cloth ones suck, just FYI...it's the only disposable thing we use)
-A few tops that are comfy whether its a tank, a nursing bra or whatever. You wear it to bed and everything (see above where I mention leaking)
-Snackie food because you don't cook and you only have one hand
-All bear wore were those long sleeved snap shirts, easier to change a diaper when the diaper is exposed
-We used water on a washcloth for wipes
-Highly recommend disposables at least for the first several weeks, cloth don't fit yet
-Steal the swaddle blankets from the hospital if you end up going there
-Granny panties if you don't already own them (I loved the crap ones they gave us at the hospital, they are like mesh or something, wonder if you could buy them. They are huge and comfortable and you bleed like crazy and they rock - you can even put ice packs in them for your hoo haw.)
The first several weeks, if ever, you wont use a swing, clothes, toys, bouncy seat, bassinet, ect. Bear has never used his crib which we moved into our room and he still doesnt use. We didn't use a stroller for weeks, just the Bjorn. We never used those hand covers because I felt like it was imprisoning his exploration and any time he scratched himself, it healed like lightening fast.
Oh and ps, if you do end up with mega sore nipples and don't have cream, squeeze out some milk or colostrum, whichever you have at the moment and rub it on your nipples after each nursing. It's amazing how healing our own bodies can be to itself. Like you said, you really don't need anything.
ReplyDeletepps. I use BumGenius Organic Elemental All in One diapers. They didn't fit until he was 6 weeks old but they have snaps that adjust as he grows and will fit him all the way until he is done with diapers. The things I love about them are that they are a one size option, they require no stuffing or extra work, you wash them and dry them, they hold all the stuff Bear throws at them, they come in lots of colors, Bear seems comfortable in them.
Sounds like a great plan if you can. I was way too nervous about not having everything prepared. I just thought I would be way too tired to be getting things together once we were home with the twins. I agree though without knowing the gender of the baby it would be hard to get everything before hand.
ReplyDeleteI applaud this simplicity and feel the exact same way. I just don't want my child growing up thinking that "things" = happiness and success. I grew up that way and I've spent a lot of time working through the haves and have nots of life. Despite my glaring infertility, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what our baby will actually need, and what society thinks they need. My list is simple and contains a lot of DIY things. A simple handmade mobile of trees and birds, little stuffed animals that I sew from scraps in my craft room, a solid wood high chair that converts to a toddler chair and then to a regular chair. I see absolutely no point in a closet full of fancy baby clothes right off the bat because babies grow so fast. Give me a bulk pack of simple onzies and I believe we are good to go. I also hope to get 90% of our things used to save money.
ReplyDeleteGet some blankets....Austin was basically naked his first two weeks and just bundled in cozy blankets. You are right. There is very little you really need.... I suggest a noise machine though. If you end up with a restless sleeper like us, white noise is your godsend. Target has one for $20. And I wish someone had told me about the no binkie for two weeks for your milk supply.... that might have helped me. Damn!!!
ReplyDeleteIf you plan on going out at all to get these things, BUY A CARSEAT!! however, if you plan on wearing your baby, don't spend money on an infant carrier car seat, because you'll just have to buy another one in a year or so. We got a convertible car seat for Sadie and she fit in it when she was a week old and rode in the car for the first time...and she still fits in it now that she's 2.
ReplyDeleteThe Moby Wrap is better than a sling, but start researching other "backpack" type carriers (like the Ergo) because the Moby becomes inconvenient at a certain point when baby starts getting bigger and wants to look around and you want to distribute some of that weight onto your hips instead of having it all on your shoulders. I don't recommend the Bjorn because it bears everything on your shoulders, and it promotes hip dysplasia in your baby.
Second hand stores and kid stuff exchange stores are an excellent place to find stuff. Used baby stuff is practically new anyway...and people will give you presents and hand me downs, so don't worry about clothes and toys. Google Just Between Friends and see if you can find one of their sales close to you!! These are excellent!
Oh, and I do recommend a bouncy seat. At least for me, it was a god send when I wanted to take a shower. YOu can usually lay baby down on the floor when you need to get up, but in the bathroom, you'll want him/her in there, and the bouncer is a nice place for him/her to sit while you bathe (which is important) You can usually find practically new ones on Craigslist.
Also, invest in the pads (my midwife provided some), and ice packs, and maybe even a donut pillow (sat on this for 4 or 5 days!) And buy a pump. You might need it to stimulate milk production, you might want to store milk so you can go out for a few hours, you might not need it at all...but at least you'll have it just in case. Our baby went to the NICU and I couldn't breastfeed...I needed that pump, even though I never thought I would! You just never know!
Hahaha... this post made me laugh so hard. Yes you don't need anything, but things will make you life easier.
ReplyDeleteCan you walk to the pediatrician? Or do they make housecalls? If not, you do need a car seat.
Some sort of thermometer is good to have so you're guessing if the baby has a fever.
If you're not buying clothes, get more blankets than you think you need.. for swaddling and burping and wearing. Because that baby will poop or spit up on about 5 of them per day.
Speaking of laundry - get your preferred dye/fragrance free or baby-scented detergent.
The above plus a night light and a boppy or some sort of pillow for breastfeeding, nipple cream, and a book will get you pretty far.
Then.. you'll have a doctor appt and won't want to take the baby so you'll wish you had a pump and bottles, the baby cant go in the car seat with the blanket wrapped over them so you'll need more clothes. They'll cry because they're bored laying on the floor while you're in the shower and you'll wish you had a bouncy seat and a toy to stare at... etc etc... you'll figure out what you need based on your life. You'll just spend a lot of time in the store with your kid instead of before they arrive.
No big deal either way, good luck!
I plan to go relatively simple too, I think it is easier when you don't know what you are having, I cannot imagine what I would buy in the months of waiting if I knew what it was!
ReplyDeleteAs for cloth diapering (which I totally plan to do too), I am sure you can find there (as I found it here and our options are way more limited I am sure!) lots of the diaper people sell a trial newborn diaper run! Where they lend you all the newborn diapers you need for say $300 until the baby grows out of newborns and then they put a portion (in this case $200) towards future purchases when you return the diapers! I am so pumped about this as I wanted newborn cloth diapers cause they are cute and tiny but not practical as they grow out of them so fast. But if for essentially $100 I can borrow a whole bunch and get to try a few? So great, I cannot wait! until October...haha.
I love the idea of this and I seriously hope that this strategy works for you. For me, I'm concerned the most with milk-supply and PPD, both very stressful things (thus the placenta encapsulation). I would rather not try to figure out everything else in the midst of trying to feed my baby and not hate it at the same time. I also don't think I'm going to be up for a Target run with a bruised, although hopefully not stitched up, vaj and although I'm sure hubby would do fine shopping for the basics, that's stuff I want to do.
ReplyDeleteAs for the toys and all the bells and whistles, I agree. I'm cool waiting it out to see what I need. Unfortunately my family won't see it that way and I'll end up with a lot of shit. And hopefully a lot of gift receipts.
I have a feeling nesting might set in in a few weeks and this post will become moot, but what the hell do either of us know? We're finally pregnant. Who gives a shit if we have a boppy and a vibrating chair!
Just so you know, you WILL be pretty much naked or at least topless for the first couple of weeks. Breastfeeding is hard, I would suggest a pump to help ease engorgement. It definitely helps with the painful moments when baby wants to sleep and you NEED baby to eat! I didn't use mine very much at all but it was nice to have just in case. And yes, nursing pads are a must...I had no idea what those were my first time around...or that you needed them at all times even if you think you are good. Picture me in classes all day with folded arms to cover up the milk stains. Everything else is learn as you go. Good Luck Cousin!
ReplyDelete