Wednesday, November 23, 2011

10 Reasons I'm Thankful to NOT have kids

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow and in honor of all of us in the pit of despair that IS infertility I've decided to make a list of all the reasons I am thankful that we do NOT have children...yet.

And please god let this be the last Thanksgiving that I have to find reasons to be thankful NOT to have children and next year I can be thankful for reasons I DO have children.

Here goes.
  1. We can drink our faces off and we don't have to get up in the morning until WE want to.  Being hungover and being responsible for a little one sounds like a little slice of hell.
  2. If it's 2pm on Tuesday and I feel like taking a nap, I can take a nap.
  3. I don't have to take a stroller to run errands.  I hate ladies with strollers on the sidewalk.  Yes, that's a little bit of the bitter infertile in me because I WANT to be a lady with a stroller but they are also really obnoxious and walk too slow, I am forever trying to pass stroller ladies.
  4. Dinners out.  No scrambling to find a sitter, we just go.
  5. If we suddenly decided we wanted to go to Jamaica next week then we can just up and go to Jamaica next week.  Except for the damn cats...
  6. I can wear white without fear of a baby spitting up, throwing up, peeing or pooping on me.  That does not mean that my white stays white but at least it's a red wine stain and not someone else's bodily fluid.
  7. Flying without a kid in tow.  Flying with kids has to suck.  I do not look at ladies with babies on the plane and think, Oh I wish that was me.  I think Oh thank god that's not me.
  8. DAD, SHIELD YOUR EYES FOR THIS ONE OR ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE READING YOUR ADULT MARRIED DAUGHTERS BLOG ABOUT TRYING TO HAVE A BABY, spontaneous sex in places that are not the bedroom with the door shut.  Not that that happens much when you're trying to conceive because it's ALL ABOUT the timed sex and ideal positions for conception, so not spontaneous, but whatevs we still CAN...when it's not fertile time anyway.
  9. I have no idea what the latest toy fad is.  I should have made that #1, that is my #1 reason to be thankful.  Fucking kids toys.
  10. My boobs are still mine and I am not a feeding machine, a la cow style.
My fellow infertiles, anything to add??


  1. Good list. I hear ya! Thankful for all that too, hopefully not next year though right!

  2. I did a post just like this one on my old blog...I was in such a similar place so I can totally relate and hear where you are coming from.

    Keep your chin up girl, there are perks to being a single couple and as I found out, things will happen when you least expect them to! ;)

  3. Lol! I love it!!!! I actually just woke up from my mid-afternoon nap, and number 1 is my favorite. Speaking of which, I'm going to the bar at 6 to meet some friends and drink, because I can. And if I'm hungover, it doesn't matter, I'm not cooking tomorrow anyways. Theres #11, Don't have to cook meals for the family.

  4. Amen to that!! I'm going to go home and bake fancy things for adult taste buds tonight. So there's number 12. Baking fancy things like Gruyere crisps with no children running around screaming "it smells like stinky feet in here" from the cheese. (Oh wait...that's my husband.) I've never met a child that likes Gruyere.

  5. Sleep, quiet, time to yourself, doing anything (cooking, cleaning, laundry) without a 10,11,12 lb weight in one arm, doing laundry once a week if you so choose - not daily.

    In all seriousness, I am thinking about you and have my fingers crossed that 2012 is your year!!!

  6. Here's what I miss pre-baby...the ability to sneeze without peeing a little!
    Worst. Side. Effect. Ever.

  7. Haha I absolutely love this post!! Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

  8. Love this list! Agree with you that many of these are things we actually want, but for now, I too am thankful for these!

    How about the ability to go for a spontaneous run, no stroller to push or sitter to locate.

    Also, the ability to have a "grown up" fight with yelling and no concerns for fucking up the kid emotionally!

  9. Hehe, i"m thankful for holidays, alone with my hubby. All my friends say when you have kids you no longer feel relaxed when you go away. But also hoping we all have different reasons to be thankful next year. 2012 is our year!!!!