They Call it the Relationship Killer

Alright, here goes, this is my first of several posts I wrote while in the midst of my battle to conceive.

Originally wrote on May 16, 2011.

Clomid.

Ovulation Inducer.

It's said to be the relationship killer because it turns you into an evil bitch.

Or so they say.

God I hope "they" are wrong.

I took my first pill 2 days ago.

I have 3 more to take.

And then I wait.

And pee on some sticks.

And hope to see that little smiley face that I've never ever seen that would mean I ovulated.

I'm feeling good, not emotional or evil. I hope Dom is feeling the same.

He's been warned about the evil side effects and is taking extra special care not to piss me off

;-)

He's doing a good job.

I have had some mild ovary pain, but I'm going to assume that means everything is working and my ovary may actually be growing an egg which it will eventually POP OUT instead of letting it just sit there.

Even though we haven't hit one year yet which gives you free reign to join the infertility club and is usually necessary to get a Clomid scrip (though not always, many Dr.'s will prescribe Clomid if you ask for it, long before that 1 year mark, one of the MANY reasons I still have a problem with Clomid).

I get a special pass.

The joy of having an annovulatory disorder I guess.

I put off taking Clomid for 5 months.

I was diagnosed in Australia, I could have taken Clomid then, back in October. But I decided to wait until we were back in the US.

I could have taken Clomid in February when we visited my gyno in Oregon. But I decided to wait until we were settled in San Francisco.

Well, here we are. We're in San Francisco.

And I took the Clomid.

Let's hope it works!

Wrote today September 1, 2011:

Clomid scared the crap out of me. People made it seem like it was no big deal and Dr.'s were handing out prescriptions like they were candy.

I'm still torn on my feelings about Clomid. I personally love the shit out of it because it helped me do what my body was failing to do. But I think it's overprescribed and I don't think it should be prescribed for everyone who fails to fall pregnant within that first year.

It is not a magic pill.

It will not help with male issues.

It will not help with tube issues.

It will not help with endometriosis.

If you ovulate regularly and are not pregnant in a year, it's unlikely that this drug will help you, your body is already doing everything that this drug does. I've heard many people say it induces a "stronger" ovulation but in my humble non-medically trained opinion, ovulation is ovulation, an egg either leaves the ovary or doesn't.

It does however greatly increase your chances of ovulating several eggs, which leads to multiples, which leads to a higher risk pregnancy which leads to the higher chance you will have some sort of medical intervention in your labor and delivery, which leads to a higher chance of C-section!

Yes, I have a huge problem with the way the western world sees pregnancy and birth as a "medical" process rather than the natural process that it is.

Which is also why I struggled SO much with taking Clomid, I didn't want to start this process off in the Dr.'s office any more than I want to end it in the hospital.

But nevertheless, I have come to terms with the fact that I needed medical help and Clomid does do what it's supposed to do, and in my case that was all that was needed.

So god bless Clomid. But Dr.'s of the world PLEASE QUIT PRESCRIBING IT TO EVERY WOMAN THAT WALKS IN YOUR DOOR.