Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Practicing What I Preach

We spent 6 hours yesterday at labor and delivery in the hospital.

And at the end of it I was "encouraged" to induce...right then and there.

I'll back up for you a bit.

I had my regular weekly midwife appt yesterday at noon.

I had high blood pressure again.  But no protein in my urine in the dip stick test again.  Same as 2 weeks ago.

To ease my midwife's mind she sent me to the hospital so they could hook me up to a blood pressure machine and monitor it for a bit.  Her thought was better safe than sorry.

I don't disagree.  She needs to feel comfortable letting me continue with the homebirth.

For 5 hours I had a blood pressure cuff on measuring my blood pressure and monitors all over my belly measuring baby's heart rate and uterine contractions.

I also had a blood test done and another urine test.

All day long nurses and Dr.'s kept coming in saying how good everything was looking and that they were just waiting for my lab results to let me go.

Over the time period I had 2 blood pressure spikes.  

It happens whenever I talk through the reading.

The rest of the readings were all in the normal range.

But after 6 long hours of sitting in a closet strapped to monitors the HIGH RISK OB pops her face in and tells me that my labs came back, I have protein in my urine and that combined with the high blood pressure spikes she is diagnosing me with MILD PREECLAMPSIA and the fact that I'm 38 weeks, full term, she recommends an induction NOW.

I was somewhere between pissed off and absolutely devastated.

I'd done my homework as I know a few people who've dealt with high blood pressure during pregnancy and also because I'd been dealing with it myself and traditionally the next step is a 24-hour urine analysis before officially diagnosing MILD PREECLAMPSIA.  The full term thing led her to gloss over this step completely and she diagnosed me without the 24 hour test...which really pissed me off.  I am now plagued with an official diagnosis of preeclampsia in my chart regardless of what happens at this point.

We said no, we will not induce right now we want the 24-hour urine test.

She said she would agree to that if I would agree to a check of my amniotic fluid and an ultrasound to confirm baby is growing because preeclampsia can stunt baby's growth.

I agreed to both and after talking to my midwives if either is off, either low amniotic fluid or the baby concerningly small then we would go ahead with the induction.

After a quick ultrasound my amniotic fluid is measuring FINE and baby looks like he is growing fine.  I have a more detailed ultrasound later on today to confirm the baby's growth.

And that's where we stand right now.

About a heartbeat away from being induced for mild preeclampsia.

And getting farther and farther away from my longed for homebirth.

My title of this post is Practicing What I Preach because I made a few statements about appropriate birthing in previous posts and preeclampsia is one of the conditions in which a homebirth is no longer safe and in which an induction is completely appropriate to keep mama and baby out of harms way.

But I never imagined I would be in this position.

I WILL get the induction at the hospital if my 24-hour urine test comes back positive for proteins in a high enough volume to convince me that I have preeclampsia.  Practicing what I preach.

But I'm pissed.

I have no other signs of preeclampsia.  No headaches, no visual disturbances, no swelling.

If I wasn't who I was, if I hadn't done my research, if I didn't know there were options I would have been induced yesterday and probably have a baby right now...or be having one.  I'm in awe and absolutely astounded at the pressure that was put on me to induce.

Even if I don't have protein in my urine tomorrow I will be closely closely monitored from here on out with the very real possibility of an induction at any time.

It's very possible we will have a baby this weekend.

The homebirth is looking unrealistic because as I've's not safe at a certain point...and we're about at that point.

Even if I can get out from under this diagnosis of mild preeclampsia I don't know that my homebirth midwives will be comfortable with me being at home anymore.

So for now we are peeing into a jug for the next 24 hours.  Tomorrow will be spent hooked up to millions of monitors again...and then we go from there.

I'm devastated that everything I've prepared for over the past year is slipping through my fingers and that here at the very end, the final stretch, I'm having to completely change gears and try to accept that my birth experience is going to be nothing like I thought it would be.

I'm having a little trouble wrapping my brain around everything.

I'm holding out some hope that we can still do this at home, but realistically I'm trying to prepare myself for the induction and subsequent hospital birth.

And in the meantime we're trying like crazy to induce labor on our own.  Sex, nipple stimulation, evening primrose oil, acupressure, a chiropractor appointment, an acupuncture appointment, some long walks...this is my life probably until baby comes...if I have to do this in the hospital maybe I can at least avoid an induction!


  1. Oh my Jesica, I am so sorry your home birth dreams are headed out the window, I know how badly you've wanted this! Don't give up full hope yet! I will be thinking and praying for you for the next few days~ Lots of Hugs to you! I can't wait to find out what the sex! :)
    Lots of Love!

  2. I hope everything comes back okay and you can still have the birth experience you were hoping for :) Even if you can't and end up in a hospital for the birth, I hope the hospital birth is as smooth and beautiful as possible, and you can still have elements of your original hoped-for experience (along with staying healthy and healthy baby of course).


  3. I was wondering about you as I was reading all the "SURPRISE BABY IS HERE" updates.
    Not that this is the post from you that I was hoping for. I'm so very deeply sorry.
    Please also know that I am looking to your blog for tons of insight - you are wealth of knowledge, my friend! You have done your homework and then some!

    I'm keeping my fingers, toes and eyes crossed that this all goes down the path you have wanted.

    I can't help but to have noticed in your post that you mentioned, "After a quick ultrasound my amniotic fluid is measuring FINE and baby looks like he is growing fine." Was that a "HE" I saw?

    Although we refer to our little one as a "he" moretimes then "she".
    I must admit that a huge smile covered my face when I read that, I had voted boy in the poll. But it seems that most of the updates have been about "baby boys" entering the world.

    Regardless, I'm keepin' it all crossed for you, sista!


  4. Oh no!!! I am so sorry that all your well laid plans are now up in the air. Preeclmpsia is scary (although thank god you are full term) and I know you are anti induction and an induction would turn all your plans upside down. Ugh. I imagine you are both pissed off and devastated. I hope that your urine testing goes well and that worst case scenario you get a natural birth in hospital. Either way I can't wait to hear about it and hear about baby!

  5. Ugh! I'm sorry it isn't working out as you'd hoped. I've read one too many stories lately of people pushing for a home birth when it's not really 'appropriate' anymore, so I am very happy to hear you are thinking of your health and your babe's health before your birthing dreams. I'll be sending all kinds of good vibes your way for a healthy baby, mama and fulfilled birthing dreams!

  6. I am so sorry to hear this news! I can imagine how frustrating that is. I will be sending good mojo your way toward your BP behaving & the proteins going down!

  7. I'm so sorry! This is very disappointing! So if you miraculously get undiagnosed by this 24 hour urine test, you can birth at home?

    I think it might be in the cards for you still! Considering your protein came back fine from your midwives test and your blood pressure testing was really fine while you were there, maybe the hospitals urine test was just a fluke.

    Oh, I am so hoping you get the birth you want, and at don't have to be induced if you are at the hospital. Hoping your ultrasound goes well today and baby is growing just fine.

  8. Ugh, what a bunch of bullshit. I always think, "They can't really be that bad can they?" (Meaning select members of the medical community) and then they go and pull this shit. So she didn't even offer the 24 hour test, right? So if you didn't know about it, you wouldn't have known to ask for it and yeah, you'd have an undercooked baby for no reason, minus your requested homebirth. Gross. I'll be thinking about you and crossing my fingers for your homebirth!

  9. Oh lady, I am so sorry. I have a friend who had a similar story. The insisted on induction within 24 hours if she did not start to labor on her own. With the help of all the things you wrote she was able to start laboring, labor at home for a while in her tub and then go to the hospital for a safe, totally bad-ass natural birth that had all the doctors and nurses on the floor cheering that she was super woman. I am keeping everything crossed that you stay health and, most importantly, that you have a beautiful, perfect baby in your arms. xoxo

  10. Hang in there. I know you will be disappointed if things don't go the way you've planned, but truthfully, 5 minutes after your healthy baby is here you'll forget about that and focus on your new little bundle of joy. xx

  11. After this happened to me and I went thru being devastated too, I decided maybe it was nature's way of teaching me I can't control everything and the unexpected will always happen when you bring babies into the picture. That helped me be at peace with it.. than and thinking that it was my body's way of saying "ok! I'm done! Baby is ready to come meet you!" that put an exciting spin on it for me. But take your time to be pissed and grieve for all the preparation you made that now probably won't get to come into fruition. I thought it was stupid at the time when people told me "it doesn't matter how babies come, as long as they come and they are healthy" because I would think "bullshit, this is my birth too and I wanted it this way or that way..." but now as a Mom, I can say those people are right. You let a lot of that go once you have the baby in your arms. :-) I promise. Keep me updated!!!

  12. I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you planned, but regardless of what happens you should be proud of how you stood your ground and asked for more answers and didn't take the induction when it was first offered. You're making an informed decision and that's important!
    Good luck with your test results and ultrasound! My fingers are crossed for you and your little one :)

  13. I'm sorry you're going through this. So happy you stood your ground with that OB though. I really hope you get good news after your 24 hour urine test and can get the birth you've been dreaming of.

  14. yep, this sucks. I am really sorry your plans are heading out the window. Thus is life I guess. I know it's a huge hit and one you will be very upset about, but the upside is always your baby. You get to see your little one soon!

  15. Agree that this sucks. I really hope your urine test comes back okay and you get the birth experience you want.

  16. Oh no! This is terrible. I am so sorry. Once you have all your plans laid out and you feel comfortable and at ease with things, then life really knows how to throw a wrench into things. But just know that your little babe will be in good hands no matter where the birth is and that you are being well taken care of and everyone has your and the babies best interest and health at heart. Good luck, keep us all posted!

  17. Ugh, I'm so sorry Jesica this sucks!!! Not fair, I'm pissed for you and can only imagine your frustration. I hope things miraculously turn around and that you get your home birth because this is not at all what you deserve. Seems to me that you and baby are doing just fine, hopefully the 24 test will reflect that. Thinking of you!!!

  18. I'm sorry it's not going as you expected and planned! I hope you are able to get comfortable with and reconcile whatever you need to do and that everyone ends up healthy in the end. It seems like birth itself is so hard to predict and plan ahead of time. I'll be thinking about you!

  19. Good for you knowing your shit and standing up to that nurse who wanted to just induce! I'm proud of you for fighting so hard for your homebirth. I really hope it works out for you. If not, can your midwife at least attend your birth in the hospital? That might help your birth experience at least go a little more like you want. I might have gestational diabetes, so my birth ideas are also slowly going out the window as I face possible early induction or even a C-section if the baby is HUGE. Just don't let people tell you, "it's all about a healthy baby in the end" because it's about you too. I'm praying everything goes well tomorrow.

  20. I am sorry things don't seem to be working out how you had planned! They never seem to. I feel like the last 3 years of my life I have been learning that lesson over and over.

  21. Oh, Jesica! My heart just dropped when I read this. I hoping this next urine test and blood pressure monitoring comes back in the good range and that you are able to continue with your homebirth. But most of all, I will keep you and the baby in my thoughts for a safe delivery, whenever it does happen.

  22. First up: GOOD ON YOU for knowing your shit, standing up for yourself, and giving the doc a run for her overly induction prescribed money. I think a big part of the scenario that burns me up is knowing that had you not been well informed (most women are not as well informed as you), you would never even have had a 24 hour grace period to see if things will smooth themselves out. Doctors should be there to keep you as INFORMED of your options as possible--not do what is convenient for them. Regardless of whether or not you have a hospital birth or a home birth, the exciting part is: you will be having a baby soon! I know that if you need to birth in the hospital, it won't be your ideal plan. My advice is to try as much as you can to let everyone else around you (husband and midwives) look out for your patient rights while you focus on enjoying your birth experience no matter where you are.

  23. I'm sorry things are turning out differently than you wanted. I just hope it all ends up working out and you have your baby in a way that makes you happy. Good for you for being so well informed.