I'm in a bit of a funk lately.
I don't like to get too personal on here so I'm not going to write about it, but let's just say it's hard to find other things to blog about when my mind is elsewhere and I'm unwilling to blog about what I'm thinking about.
Conundrum, I know.
There's a few things in life that are just not working for me right now, one is that San Francisco is lonely.
I have no friends here and to be honest I already did the whole make new friends thing when I moved to New York and I just really don't want to do it again.
I want my old friends back.
And I want to be back in New York.
Having no friends in Sydney was fine because we were only there for 8 months and if I had made friends I just would of had to leave them.
But this, this is supposed to be for life, and I'm overwhelmed by the thought of having to start ALL OVER again.
Luckily one of my good friends from NYC is here in San Francisco for Memorial Day weekend visiting with her in-laws and that makes me VERY HAPPY!
Anyone have any great tips for making friends in new cities?
awe, I'm sorry Jes.. hate to hear you are lonely. :-( See if the library has book clubs? or find a Zumba class or something? You're outgoing and fun, I'm sure you will make friends there soon. I want to come visit sometime, by the way. :-)
ReplyDeleteLet's see, friends...totally agree that its both hard and unfun to start over. Think about things you love to do and get involved with them and you are likely to meet like minded people. Like to read? Book club, like to be fit and healthy? Group fitness at the local gym. Maybe join a walking or running club? I bet these would be posted on fb or something? Perhaps design or gardening would be fun? A community education class at the local college might be a good start? This is all from the person who has an incredibly hard time meeting and making new friends and has ended up with all her friends from Jessica...thanks Jess btw! I will come hang with you if you want some company, I have plenty of time and haven't been to sfo for years. Email me :-)
ReplyDeleteKenz
Oh honey! I feel your pain! It is so hard making new friends in a new place. When we moved here, I made the mistake of not really trying to make friends outside of work (b/c how great are ready made work friends?) You get to talk to them and hang out with them all day. Now I'm a SAHM out in BFE, just me and my kiddo all day.
ReplyDeleteIf I had to do it over, I would work harder to make friends outside of work - places like church, gym classes, or other things I'm interested in. Good luck! (((hugs)))
It's tough! I don't really consider myself a "military wife" since I hate labels like that - but in all honesty I guess I've been through some of the trials just by living in two different military towns with Josh. I have definitely had lonely times, especially moving to Whidbey and not getting a job for 6 months. I felt exactly like you, I liked the friends I had and I wanted to hang out with them!
ReplyDeleteOnce I got a job, things brightened up. Maybe you could think about a part time job at a coffee shop or cute clothing boutique. Some place that you know you'll have things in common with with other workers or at least the clinetele.
I have honestly rarely had any luck picking up new friends from gyms or whatever. I did make friends with a girl at our favorite coffee shop and we'd sometimes meet at the beach with our dogs and she's invited us out sailing with her and her husband a few times. I still feel kinda proud of myself for making a totally random friend and I consider myself pretty outgoing.
Good luck - you know what they say....give it a year and you'll love it.
Meet as many people as possible (yup, even when you dont want to go out - DO IT!!). A very small percentage of them will be ones you will ever call friends so you gotta meet LOADS just to find 1 friend! But stick at it and know that it is a numbers and time game.....the funk will pass. It is great if you can find stuff during the day too so it doesn't feel like you loose any time with D in evening. Good luck x
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