I must confess...I was scared of having a newborn again.
Very very scared.
And for only one reason. The sleeplessness.
The thought of being up at all hours of the night with a restless newborn or nursing every 2 hours made me want to cry.
Jett has been such a wonderful sleeper that I was no longer used to waking at night. And honestly I didn't/don't want to do the newborn thing all over again. It was awful.
But then I got pregnant and I was up 2 or 3 times to pee. Ok...I can handle it, preparation for new baby, I get it. It wasn't that bad.
BUT NOW I CANNOT SLEEP LONGER THAN 2 HOURS. Sometimes not even 2 hours.
It's like when Jett was at the peak of the awfulness that got him sent to his own room to CIO. I see every hour on the clock. SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A FORM OF TORTURE.
I have tried everything I'm allowed. Benadryl, Unisom, Valerian Root. None of it even touches this insomnia. I go to bed around 10pm (can't fall asleep before that) and I'm up by 11:30. Then 12:45. Then 1:15. Then 2:45. And it continues all night.
There is nothing waking me that I can discern. I wake up perfectly comfortable but thoroughly annoyed. I always get up to pee because if I try to roll over and go back to sleep I will be woken up to pee shortly thereafter and I'm always trying to maximize how long I can stay asleep. But it doesn't help. NOTHING HELPS.
Last night I was woken up by CONTRACTIONS. Braxton Hicks contractions, but contractions nonetheless.
I've started praying for 3 hour stretches of sleep guys...just 3.
My husband (when he's here) has moved to the other bedroom most nights so as to again...maximize the amount of time I sleep because if he's snoring when I try to fall back asleep I can't fall back asleep. If he's not there I at least fall asleep easily all 13 thousand times I wake up.
I can now honestly say that I'm not scared of the sleeplessness of a newborn. I actually think I will be sleeping MORE when baby gets here as I know they sleep for 3-4 hours in the beginning and a 4 hour stretch sounds like HEAVEN.
One night about 3 weeks ago I got a 5 hour stretch and I felt AMAZING! I burst out of bed at 7am feeling more energized than I remember feeling in a long long time.
So there you have it, the body's amazing ability to get you ready for your baby no matter what. I'm ready body, I'M READY! I will take the newborn. If I was 2 weeks further along I'd be encouraging labor just to get this baby out of me and get some sleep.
HOW IS THAT FOR IRONY? I want the baby OUT to sleep.
If this continues all the way to 42 weeks I will be a basketcase.
I think I only made it a month with Jett waking every 1.5 before I lost my shit. I don't know if I'll make it any longer this time and I'm about a week in.
Dear Baby, 3 more weeks...I can do this for 3 more weeks and then you have to come OUT or I'm going to go insane and you will have only a shell of a crazy lady for a mother by the time you arrive.
Anyone know any tricks to STAY asleep? Falling asleep is easy. And I'll try anything at this point.