Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Post In Which All Hell Has Broken Loose and I Am Carrying My Baby Everywhere Because It's the Only Way to Make Him Shut Up

It was like a fucking light switch.

One minute I'm concerned because my baby sleeps SO MUCH...like all day and then all night.  Meaning no he does not sleep all the way through, but he would sleep, wake up and fuss, get a diaper change or nurse and then back to sleep...repeated every 2-3 hours all day and all night.  And no this does not mean I have a lot of free time on my hands because he only sleeps in his crib for like a half hour at a time!  The rest of the time he is in someone's arms, except at night where he is in the bed with us.  The only AWAKE time he really had was 2 hours before bed when he was REALLY fussy and I was getting concerned that he wasn't awake enough for like proper interaction time.  Because ALL the websites and books (too much fucking information out there!) keep telling me he should start to be more awake these days.

And the next minute I have little Screamy McScremerson for a baby who REFUSES to sleep.

Today I have my 6 week postpartum appt and I was all set to ask about all the sleeping and see if it was normal to be sleeping so much.  I should also mention the husband is away!  Well last night he decided to just boycott sleep altogether.

This is form a torture.

He slept ALL damn day.  Woke up at 8pm, right on schedule AND THEN WOULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I tried EVERYTHING.  And I mean EVERYTHING!  Swaddling, shushing, swaying, pacifiers, shower noise, taking a bath, baby Mozart, nursing, burping, baby massage, baby wearing.  He kept at it until MIDNIGHT.  That's 4 hours of baby fussing, crying, screaming, grunting, spitting up, screaming at my breast and trying to wiggle out of my arms.  He just would NOT settle!

Finally at midnight I retried swaddling, as in 2 hours earlier the swaddle was a no-go, he HATED it and started screaming even louder.  Well, suddenly the swaddle was all he needed.  I wrapped him up, picked him up and OUT.

I couldn't fucking believe it.

Unfortunately he then woke up at 2:20 and at 4:30 for the grunting and then up for the day at 7am.  

It was a fun night last night guys, a really fun night.

I am now scared to take the baby off of me.  Seriously.  I've been wearing him all day because the second I take him off he starts screaming.

My husband is gone for one more night and I am DREADING the night more than I've ever dreaded anything ever before.

How, just HOW do single mamas do this?!  I've never been more happy to be married...and never been more upset that my husband travels so much.

Wish us luck that tonight is better!


  1. Hang in there it is so difficult. I had a night where both of my boys decided to stay up all night and I thought I would loose my mind.
    Every baby is different and all the information contradicts each other but the book I have used says at this stage he should be sleeping the majority of the time. It would suggest that he didn't sleep because he was overtired. At 6 months my boys just now stay awake for two hours at a time. I found the hardest part figuring out when to put them down to sleep but onve I found the sweet spot it got a lot easier. At first it was an hour of awake time then it gradually increased to 2 hours over the last few months.

  2. Weird question here but, what's his poop like? Is it slimy? or green? Or a combo? And if you look really close, is there any red, even small traces in it? Barrett was pretty much exactly what you are describing and it turned out to be a dairy problem - his poop should have tipped me off, but I was like, uh, wtf is normal and not normal. Well, slimy is not normal. The tiny traces of blood came much later but the slime was there long before, I just didn't know it was an issue.

    Barrett would always cry longer and harder and more unstoppably whenever Nick was gone for the night or gone for long periods. It was like some unspoken baby rule...mom's alone? SCREAM BLOODY MURDER ALL FUCKING NIGHT! And then I think he would feed off my frustration and get even more mad.

    One of the best tricks I learned was to sit in a chair with either an ottoman or a footrest and put my feet on the rest with my knees up and then stick barrett there with his butt at the bottom, legs on my stomach/chest and back on my legs. Sometimes it would make him scream harder for a few minutes, but a lot of times he would end up having gas and this would help it move through.

    Another trick is to put them on their tummy. Lots of times, babies who have reflux are relieved from it when they are on their tummy's. It also takes more effort to cry from this position so they have to really really want to keep crying in order to keep it going. It sounds mean, but hey, they are getting tummy time, maybe a little reflux relief and you are (maybe) getting a break.

    Finally, just remember, month 2 and 3 are usually where you hit rock bottom. They get fussy for no reason and no one knows why. Find comfort in knowing that each and every one of us (mostly, and I don't want to hear from anyone who had the perfect baby) went through it.

    I have to believe moms who have lots of kids either forget about the early phase or they have perfect babies. Barrett is STILL not sleeping through the night, so my desire to EVER have another kid is pretty much a big ol fat ZERO right now. I think people with more than one child are CRAZY.

    Good Luck!!!!!!! I know it SUCKS.

  3. Oh, wow! I'm so sorry you are alone. Sounds like you are going crazy. :( Hang in there Jes!

  4. Typing one-handed here...and wishing you lots of luck with a more restful and sleepful night tonight.

    We had a 2.5 hour period last night where BabyBoy just wouldn't sleep and that was frustrating enough. I don't look forward to all nighters.

    Maybe Jett knows daddy is gone and that is disrupting his rhythm? I know our cats (I know, different than a baby) get a bit bent out of shape when either of us is gone for a night or two.

  5. I've read several places that crying peaks at about 6 weeks of age, so it should get better slowly as he approaches 3 months hold. Months 2 and three are definitely the hardest and you are the most tired. It's quite normal.

  6. I've had a LOT of experience with newborns as a nanny and now with two of my own. Unless you find some issue with his poop or he is obviously in pain from gas...this is not abnormal. Anywhere between 4 weeks to 4 months this can happen. Our son did this a couple times at about this age....he ended up with reflux...so it took a bit to get that under control...but even then...you will have these nights. They are pretty much unavoidable in parenting. Our daughter...same thing...from like 6 weeks old to 4 months she would have her "screaming time" every evening for about 2 hours....she did not have reflux...it was just part of "her" routine. This is not uncommon at all for babies to do this evening/night as their wake/sleep patterns start to change. You did everything right mama....so don't worry about that at all. Do you have a swing? My babies really ended up loving to be swaddled and then put in the swing (we had one that did both side-to-side and front to back motion...side to side was preferred by my babies). So....I will cross my fingers this is not a pattern and tonight is much better....but just know you are doing everything right...and..it will pass. Just keep your eyes open for any true ailments.
    And...for what it is worth....after 2 years of IUI/IVF, miscarriage, chem pregnancy and FINALLY...a baby....I pretty much told my OB at my 6 week appt that my son was an ASS and parenthood sucks. It really is the height of sleep deprivation and frustration....so hang in there. Hugs.

  7. Your posts make me so sad. Not once have you talked about how precious you think your baby is or how blessed you are to have him after considering yourself to be "infertile". All of your posts have been about how boring you baby is or how much he cramps your style or how he won't "shut the fuck up". What did you honestly expect from a newborn? I hope for your baby's sake that you can stop being so selfish and thinking about yourself and figure out that it isn't all about you anymore.

  8. Madden did the same thing at 3 weeks till about 6 weeks where he would have a really fussy period from 6pm till midnight no matter how much he did or didnt sleep during the day. Sometimes he would scream and cry the ENTIRE time and sometimes we could get him settled for a while and asleep in our arms but as soon as we set him down he would be wide awake screaming again and we would have to start all over again. We would have to try everything over and over again to get him settled before it seemed like he finally just tired himself out that he would give in after 6 hours! It was hell and so so frustrating, LOTS of "what the fuck to you want" and "Shut the fuck up and go to sleep" moments! During the day if he gets too fussy and I can't calm him down after a while I lay him down in the Pack n play and turn the vacuum on next to him and just let it run for a bit which seems to settle him down for a while. Sometimes he even falls asleep to it. This too shall pass and you can go on loving every minute of your little miracle!