Everyone around me IRL seems to be done having babies. Some have 1, some have 2, some have 3. Some are done by choice and some are done by circumstances out of their control. But done, nevertheless.
Vasectomy is a common theme in conversations lately. Friends are taking proactive measures to ensure that they are in fact done.
How is this the stage of life I'm in? It makes me feel very old.
I feel like I just started having babies, how can everyone be done???
Since making babies hasn't been the easiest thing in the world, "are you done?" has become such a loaded question. Without a doubt we were not done with one. Even if pregnancy was unachievable a 2nd time then adoption would have been pursued.
But now? With #2 a few months away? Are we done?
In my heart of hearts I will tell you no. I'm not done. When we got married we were going to have 3 kids. THREE, not 2, not 1 but 3.
We will TRY for a third on our own without a doubt.
But how hard will we pursue a 3rd? Even though #2 isn't here yet, we've been talking about #3. Will we pursue treatments if we cannot get pregnant and STAY pregnant on our own?
I'm not sure that we will.
If it doesn't work and I stop ovulating...again, then we might be done.
Or the miscarriages...do I have to have another miscarriage to have another baby? It makes me sad that I have to lose on to get one but that's been the pattern so far. Dare I risk losing another?
As Dom approaches 45 I think he'd like to be done with the "having babies" stage of life and move on to the raising our family stage. I kind of get it. I will turn 34 just after this baby arrives and if I pretend that the exact same timeline of events will unfold for #3 then I wouldn't be having #3 until I was almost 37. Do I still want to be in the "building our family" stage of life 8 years after we started?
I hate to think this is the last time I'm doing all this things and not know it, like is this the last time I'll be pregnant? Is this the last time I'll feel baby kicks from the inside? Is this the last chance to have my homebirth? Will this be my last newborn?
I'd like to relish these things more if this is the last time I'll be experiencing them but...there's no way to know.
I know I've got at least another year, probably more, before any decision needs to be made on this subject, but it nevertheless plagues me.
What about everyone else? I know most of you are/will pursue the 2nd by any means necessary but will you keep going?