Friday, May 30, 2014

Another Pregnancy Another Miscarriage

I was pregnant again...very briefly.

Looks like Baby C was nothing more than a chemical pregnancy.

When all hope looked lost for an ovulation this last time around I ovulated on CD33 just like the previous cycle.

Obnoxious that I'm ovulating on CD33, but least I'm ovulating and at least I'm ovulating regularly.

Anyway, my cat informed me that I was pregnant and so I took a test at only 10 days past ovulation.

How, do you ask, did my cat tell me I was pregnant?

He started sleeping with me again.  Most of you won't remember this but during my pregnancy with Jett my cat started sleeping up next to me instead of at the foot of the bed or in his cat bed.  Well, at 8DPO he started sleeping with me again so at 10DPO I took a test.

Lo and was positive.

I took a test every day from that point on and the line got darker up until 13DPO.  Then at 14DPO it was definitely not any darker, but not lighter either. 

But I had a sneaking suspicion that this pregnancy was not going to continue.

That night my cat didn't sleep with me.

And at 15DPO the line was so faint that it was almost non-existent.

And later in the was gone completely. 

My cat is my new early pregnancy detector.

So, there you have it, 3rd pregnancy ended almost as soon as it began.  I would have only been 4w1d when the line disappeared, if I was a normal person I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant.

I wish I didn't know.

That's 3 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages and only 1 baby.  My statistics are looking dreadful.

Though my ovulation statistics are looking AMAZING.  Only 5 ovulations but 3 pregnancies.

So there's a bright side.

At least, I'm going to pretend there is.

I'm sad.  But I'm not as sad as I was with the first miscarriage.  This is just a drop in the hat compared to that.

But it sucks, it really really sucks.

Not only am I plagued with infrequent ovulation and LONG cycles that make getting pregnant anything but simple but apparently getting pregnant isn't all I have to contend with as we add a 2nd miscarriage into the mix.

Now just waiting for my period...and onto the next cycle.


  1. I'm so sorry to here that :( I've never been pregnant I don't know the feeling of a miscarriage but just by TTC and not being able to I can imagine your pain. Praying for you xoxo

  2. So sorry to hear about your loss. That's truly amazing that your cat can sense pregnancy like that! Hopefully this all means your next little one is just around the corner… sending good energy your way.

  3. So very sorry to hear this. A loss is so hard. I am amazed by your cat however. That is actually really cool.

  4. Oh hon, I'm so sorry. No matter how early the miscarriage happens, it's hard.
    Like you said, on the bright side, at least you're ovulating. Harvey was conceived on CD36 or something ridiculous like that. It IS possible, so I hope if your body continues with the longish cycles that at least it keeps cycling and your cat starts sleeping with you again soon.

    ((BIG HUGS)

  5. Oh Jessica! I am sorry! I am in the exact same boat here. I believe I am having a chemical pregnancy too. It fucking sucks! Hugs!

  6. I am so sorry. I have never experienced this myself, but have seen many friends close to me go through this heart ache. It's great that you are ovulating on your own & that you have been successful in the past. I hope it happens again for you soon.

    I am actually ovulating on my own too and my cycle has finally regulated a bit. But now I am dealing with a short luteal phase, probably due to breastfeeding but I will never really know unless I wean. I'm not ready for that yet, but it so hard when my period shows up each month.

  7. I'm so sorry, Jesica! I hope you have your cat sleeping by your head again very soon!
    I have the opposite problem as you: I have a very regular cycle (although some wonkiness in the last 6mo), with ovulation, yet no pregnancies, except my guy.

  8. Damn. I'm sorry Jes. I can't imagine watching a pregnancy test go back to faint ad then nothing at all. Like slipping through your fingers. However wonky your cycles are, you are pretty fertile in conceiving! I hope this next one sticks and kitty sleeps with you again. My cat didn't seem to know for my pregnancy, but I remember her poking her pokey little feet in my sensitive belly. :/

  9. Fuck. I am so sorry Jes. Is it insane that I was/am partially jealous?? It is insane, because I remember having a chemical pregnancy and that it was definitely worse than not getting pregnant at all, because you get your hopes up and start dreaming of the life to be yours....I am so sorry. For what it is worth, I do think you WILL get pregnant. And I hope that with this miscarriage comes the following, full term, healthy baby like last time. I do think it will happen for you guys and soon. In the meantime, I hope your period shows up quickly, because the limbo land is the worst of all.

  10. Darn it. I'm so sorry. I really hope that your kitty starts to sleep on you again :) Big hugs until then...

  11. Oh my... that is so, so, so rough. Huge huge hugs! Chemicals and early m/c's are the worst, getting your hopes up, then dashing them even further down than you thought possible. Huge hugs.

  12. Oh Jes...I'm so sorry....I am just catching up with all of my posts and caught this. It WILL happen again for you, I know this, but the not-knowing-when part sucks. Especially when dealing with PCOS and all the "fun" that brings. Your ratio of ovulation to pregnancy is awesome.

  13. ugh that totally sucks honey (sorry only just saw this). I just hope that your body in it's new weird actually ovulating way and the cat get together to get it right next round x