Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Will I or Won't I?

I'm obsessing slightly.

I know.

But I took a 2.5 year break from it...it's ok to start again.

I'm on CD13 and I've been peeing on lots of things. With no results.

I should NOT be surprised as even when I ovulate it's well into the CD20's, I think once it was CD23, another CD29 and one of those was even a Clomid cycle!

So...why would I ovulate anywhere near CD13?

The answer is that I won't!  So why have I started to feel a little sting everytime I pee on a stick that doesn't show me a second line?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

Somehow I've convinced myself that not only will I ovulate my first cycle postpartum but that it will be a totally normal cycle and I will ovulate right around...CD13.

For the record I peed on an OPK that gave me a big fat negative about an hour before we conceived Baby Jett so...I'm aware that OPK's don't really work for me.

But I pee on them anyway.

Makes me feel productive and PROACTIVE like I'm not just passively waiting to ovulate.

Even Fertilityfriend is telling me I'm going to ovulate soon.

Maybe this is all her fault.  She's feeding me false information.

Anyway, I don't want to do this mindfuck cycle after neverending 90 day cycle, so fingers crossed Fertilityfriend isn't just messing with me and I'm actually going to ovulate sometime soon!

Will I ovulate or won't I???

3 comments:

  1. 90 day mindfuck... Been there. Also, OPKs are totally bitches- they never really own up to what's happening in there. Let's hope fertility friend knows what it's talking about- Ready. Set. OVULATE!!!!

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  2. UGH. Me TOO! I know I will ovulate....just when?? I am on day 22 and had a positive opk with flu yesterday....but my instructions say don't use FMU, and it was negative two hours later. So does that mean today is the day?? Or what??? This shit is confusing! In the meantime we are keeping at it at least every other day and hoping there is a god smiling on us. Good luck!

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  3. It's crazy, isn't it- how this pregnancy obsession comes fast & furious again! I am right there with you. Just waiting- hoping- that our time will come again soon. It took us over 3 years with Iyla, so I am under no delusions… and yet… I remain obsessively hopeful month after damn month!

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