When does the peeing start?
I mean, I had my PERIOD for goodness sake CLEARBLUE EASY FERTILITY MONITOR, don't you UNDERSTAND? Surely I should be peeing on ALL THE THINGS!
And yet...my monitor just sits there with it's stupid single line telling me to fucking relax and that I can start peeing on things in a few days.
What a bitch. She doesn't understand the urgency.
And my thermometer.
She's a bitch too.
My temperature is still uber high, like if I hadn't just had my period it would convince me I'd already ovulated high. 98.1 is a post-ovulation temperature THERMOMETER.
She doesn't get it either.
And FertilityFriend...FertilityFriend...I hate to say it but she's no better, she's also a bitch.
Look at this:
What the fuck is this? This is basically the worst chart I've ever seen.
The best she can do is tell me that I might ovulate in that green 2 week period and that my period might be like a thousand years long.
She hasn't told me to pee on anything either.
Bitches all of them. All of my TOOLS aren't helping me, they're messing with me.
And since none of these bitches are being helpful, someone tell me WHEN DOES THE PEEING START? Pretend I had a normal cycle, like a predictable 28 day cycle (hahahaha, I can hardly write that without laughing hysterically), when do I start peeing on things???
Clearly I'm obsessing, I GET IT, but I promise I'm not on the crazy train yet, I'm just REALLY REALLY EXCITED!
I'll start getting crazy and depressed somewhere around CD28 when I still haven't ovulated.
For now I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO START PEEING ON THINGS.