Friday, October 11, 2013

All the Baby Deuxs

It seems nearly everyone in my blogroll, both fertile and infertile are either:

Pregnant with Baby #2,
Trying to get pregnant with Baby #2 or
Talking about trying to get pregnant with Baby #2.

Is there something in the air?

Or do I just happen to only follow bloggers who gave birth roughly a year ago and the logical next step once your baby hits a year is to get pregnant again?

I fall somewhere in between the last two categories.  We haven't been using any protection but I have yet to have a postpartum period.  That means theoretically we're trying because I could ovulate at any time but really I'm pretty sure I'm not ovulating so it's more talking about trying!

I must admit, the fact that I have yet to have a period is starting to make me anxious.

I know people who didn't start ovulating again until 15 months, 18 months, 2 years or until they fully weaned.

I GET IT.  Some people, NORMAL PEOPLE even, don't get their fertility back right away.

I shouldn't worry yet.

It's the fact that I have an anovulatory disorder that has me worried.  Am I already all cysty?!  Am I not going to ovulate at all?  Or am I just one of those people who's not going to ovulate until I've weaned?

THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW.  And short of weaning there's not a lot I can do about it.

If I'm being really honest with myself it makes the most sense to wait until after we get back from London which will be the end of December to worry about this.  In fact we've decided to not DO anything (no temping, no OPKs, no Vitex, etc etc) until after the New Year. 

Should we fall pregnant on our own between now and then?  So be it, obviously that would be awesome.  BUT I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE PREGNANT ON A 10 HOUR FLIGHT WITH A TODDLER. 

And...I want the wee ones to have a little bit bigger age gap than 2 years.  Somewhere around 2.5 years would be ideal.  Which means waiting another 6 months or so.

All that being said, I can't help it, I've started worrying.  And obsessing.


At least I know I'm not alone, basically ALL OF YOU have started obsessing again too.

So let's discuss, if you had the power to choose, what is the ideal age gap between your kiddos?


  1. Yep- #2 is definitely on my mind! I have already been peeing on a gazillion OPKs and am pretty sure last month was the first I really ovulated (and got a positive OPK)- and that is almost 5-6 periods in. I've only had 2 of normal length again. ANYWAY- your question.... I always thought I'd either like my kids 1 year apart so they were super close, went through stages together, and where #1 wasn't yet in the 'me me me' toddler times while there was a newborn. My other scenario is a 3 year gap- so that #1 is old enough to know what is happening and be excited about it, and is PAST the 'me me me' toddler times.Well- Iyla is almost 1 and I am definitely not pregnant, so I will probably end up with them 2 years apart and have some serious hell to deal with for awhile! But of course I'd just be THRILLED to somewhat easily get pregnant again, regardless of when that happens. I cannot fathom having a newborn right now with the stage Iyla is at- both because I want to soak in every selfish moment of how much fun she is, AND- she is getting more needy and clingy ALREADY and that would be super intense. And honestly? I feel like I would be OK if Iyla was our one and only. We are definitely wanting a 2nd for HER to have a sibling, but if that wasn't in the cards I am just so over the moon to have a babe here at last.

    1. LOL forever at 3 years old being PAST the 'me me me' stage ;-)

  2. I know! What is it? I'm obsessing for sure.. looking at pregnancy tests at the store, wanting to buy them.. trying to figure out if my phone app is accurate as far as my periods and when we could be fertile... whether or not I'll get pregnant easily or not easily (hormones were out of WHACK for a good year after Austin was born.. I don't really trust them) and all that stuff. Even though we have a set date as to when we are trying, I still keep wondering if our timing is good.. if all goes well the kids will be a little over 2.5 years apart.

  3. I have had my period back for over 12 months. Which sucks. We've been sorta trying since February and Telly trying the last two months. Honestly I'd be happy to wait another six months but I'm getting older. It's IVF in jan next year otherwise. There are a lot of #2s around. I'm a little envious.

  4. I wanted 3-4 years between kids. When my period came back at 15mo while BFing, we started TTC figuring it would take years again (if it ever worked at all). Then I got pregnant on that long (and I thought destined to be anovulatory) cycle, and bam, our kids will be 24-25 months apart. The best laid plans and all that...

  5. I'm with you Jesica, no post partum period yet. Starting to think about #2, but no plans. Like you, I've decided to wait until the new year to worry/obsess/think about it because Ever will be 1. I need at least one full year before letting that take over my life again. I would like to have them as close together as possible. I want the whole TTC life and pregancies and newborness (sleeplessness) behind me and start living as a family of 4. I want to watch my two kiddos very close in age playing together on vacation while I enjoy a nice big glass of wine. :D

  6. I'm over here semi-obsessing...Like you, I'd love to get pregnant whenever, on my own, if possible, but I really don't see that happening. Unlike you, I have gotten my periods back. Ugh. I now worry is my endo is going to grow again and make it hard to get pregnant again. So, who knows what is up.

    My siblings and I were 4-4,5 years apart. I think that might be a bit too long, so maybe 2-3 years would be good. However, if it takes too long to get pregnant, I don't think we¨ll continue for a 2nd. DH is concerned about being over 40 (for himself) with a baby in the house again.

  7. You'll probably not get your period until you wean, my baby pretty much self weaned at around 10mon and I started having semi regular cycles. Then I kind of started thinking of baby #2 but I knew it wouldn't happen unless we did Ivf again and than surprise I just found out I'm pregnant so hopefully it'll happen fast for you too.

  8. This is a loaded question because it is very dependent upon the 'if's'. If I had gotten pregnant with #1 when I first started trying when I was younger, I would want a larger age gap so as to make it easier on me. But it took me a few years so I had C later then planned and I don't want to be pregnant in my late 30's. I want to be onto vacationing and school aged kids. So since my ideal is not possible, we will probably start trying when C is 1 1/2 and see what happens. In an ideal world, I would get pregnant when I first started trying and my kids would be about 2.5 years apart, but I know it could take a long time, if ever. Which means they will be farther apart or I won't get pregnant in the next couple of years and we may ditch the idea all together.

  9. I KNOW it is crazy but I think - I THINK - I'd like a 2-3 year age gap ideally and not more (ideally). I don't think we are going to move into a huge house and I don't want the two to be too much older than the next because someone is going to have to share a room... My nephew is 8 years older than his new baby brother, and they have a 3 bedroom house, and I don't know that the sister (4.5) is going to want to share with a little boy, either. So it becomes kind of complicated. I kind of want them to be close enough in age to feel like they could share a room - or for me to feel like I could get them to share a room.

    However, I know having 2 or 3 year old twins and a newborn is like asking for baldness and ulcers. I know. Except obviously I don't really KNOW.

    So we're going to stop preventing in December, meaning the smallest the age gap will be would be 2 years, and will not-prevent for a year, and then if we're not pregnant we will pursue treatment again.

    Ahh but even though we're preventing I still sometimes want to pee on things because I can't tell if I haven't ovulated yet or if I'm magically pregnant!

  10. My kids are 2 years and 7 months apart. At the time...I thought it was too far.....then...once the baby came and our oldest was still in diapers and still so needy I thought it was too close....but now they are 3 and 5 1/2 and it seriously is PERFECT! My sister and I are also 2 1/2 years apart and it is perfect. There is enough of an age gap to have our own friends and interests growing up....but close enough to be the perfect companion for each other on family vacations and for family activities. My kids will be 3 years apart in school due to the youngest having a Nov. birthday so she missed the cutoff....but I can already see their bond growing even though we have a boy and a girl. They are super cute together, they play well (and fight well) together and in the big picture...those early days were hard but joyous. I look at it now and almost wish they were just 2 years apart because after being pregnant, nursing or changing diapers for 5 years strait....I was DONE....I cannot get rid of the baby stuff fast enough...moving our daughter out of the crib and into a bed next month and have already made plans to get that thing out of my house. I loved my baby season....but soooo glad it is over!

  11. Im right there with you...starting to think about number two or the possibility of a number two. I dont care about the age gap...I care about my age. Not getting any younger!

  12. Just found your blog through Everyday Love :) I always said I would try for #2 when #1 turned 1 and I ended up getting pregnant when he was 13 months, but we lost that baby at 12 weeks and once we got the OK to try again I was seriously psychotic in trying to get pregnant, my poor hubby!! It did happen and my kiddos were suppose to be 27 months apart but my daughter came early so they are 25 months apart. She is now 1 and honestly everyone told me how hard it was going to be but it really wasn't that bad of an adjustment (at least for me) We are now in the talking about #3 and not preventing but it's been a couple of months and nada, but I'm not obsessing this time, it's kind of hard to when I have 2 little cuties already! I will send baby dust your way!