The Anonymous Commenter says:
Your posts make me so sad. Not once have you talked about how precious you think your baby is or how blessed you are to have him after considering yourself to be "infertile". All of your posts have been about how boring you baby is or how much he cramps your style or how he won't "shut the fuck up". What did you honestly expect from a newborn? I hope for your baby's sake that you can stop being so selfish and thinking about yourself and figure out that it isn't all about you anymore.
You are correct Anonymous, I don't come into this space and write about how wonderful my child is and how blessed I am to have him.
I come here to vent.
What is the point of blogging if not to vent? Am I right?
I don't come on here, into this space and start writing when life is great. That's not why I started blogging, that's not why I blog now. If I'm here it's because I need advice, or I need help or I need to get something off my chest. Or I just need to know that there is someone else out there going through the same sort of hell that I am.
I need to feel less alone.
This is why infertility breeds so many bloggers, because we NEED a space to vent about how much life sucks while we're dealing with infertility and we need support.
This is also why infertility bloggers drop off the face of the blog planet when they finally get pregnant.
It's because they're happy.
Or because they fear comments like the above. They don't want to be seen as complaining when they fought so hard to get there.
Well, I'm not gonna blog about how great it is to be a parent and how it's the most special thing in the universe and how I think my child is the most wonderful child on the planet.
That's not real.
I don't enjoy reading mommy bloggers who only have good things to say. I don't believe women who say their first months of motherhood were the best months of their lives.
If that's all you read about from other bloggers and then you get there, when you're the mommy and things aren't as great or as easy as all those other mommy bloggers led you to believe you start to think that something is wrong with you or your child.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ALL GLITTER AND CUPCAKES.
Parenthood is fucking hard, whether you deal with infertility beforehand or not does not change the fact that sleep deprivation and a screaming child who won't sleep IS HARD.
I don't need support from others when Baby Jett and I have an amazing day together. I don't need to tell you about the nights when he sleeps well and when I feel like a rockstar parent.
Again, I don't come here to gloat or for you to tell me how special and gorgeous my baby is. I come here for help.
IRL this is also what we. as women, do with our girlfriends. We get together to bitch about one thing or another. We bitch about our husbands, we bitch about our babies, we bitch about our weight, we bitch about our jobs.
Rarely do I get together with my friends and we all start chatting about how wonderful life is.
Maybe me and all of my friends are bitchy? Do others sit around with their friends and declare how much they love their husbands?
You'll notice Anonymous that I don't write much about marriage or my husband on here. This is because marriage and my relationship with my husband are pretty great and I don't find myself needing advice or seeking help in those areas of my life. But you also won't find me saying how wonderful I think my husband is and how great our marriage is.
For me, this is not what this space is for.
So, while I may post pictures of my son from time to time (I know my family reads this and wants to see piccies!) the majority of the time that I mention Baby Jett it is to "bitch" about something and seek advice or I just want to know that someone else has gone through the same thing and that what I'm dealing with or feeling is "normal".
If you're a parent and you've never thought to yourself OMG MY KID IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE, CAN I TRADE HIM IN FOR A DIFFERENT QUIETER ONE then you either have the best baby in the whole damn world or you're lying to yourself.
You and me Anonymous would not be friends in real life (thus you don't need to read my blog if it makes you so sad) because in real life my friends all understand when I say my kid is being an ASS that it's because KIDS ARE LITTLE SHITHEADS...especially at night...and that I still love him more than I've ever loved anything else in the world.
I'm also preparing all of my pregnant readers for the wonderful world of parenthood that is before them...because as I've discovered, NO ONE TELLS YOU THESE THINGS BEFOREHAND. So maybe, just maybe, if one of you lovely ladies who hasn't had your baby yet hits 6 weeks with your little one and he turns into little Screamy McScreamerson and you want to kill yourself as you hit the 4th hour of Screamfest 2012 you'll remember how that blogger once wrote about how her baby turned from a great sleeper to a sleep boycotter overnight and instead of thinking OMG MY KID HATES ME , I'M THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD you'll think HOLY SHIT NOW I KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT and you'll feel just a tiny bit less alone and a tiny bit less like everyone else has the best babies in the world and yours is the only asshole.
But now I'd like to know, why do the rest of you blog? Do you blog to vent? Do you blog to share the "good" with your family and friends and keep the "bad" out of it? Or for some other reason? And does anyone else actually get the feeling that I'm not eternally grateful for my son and think that all I do is bitch about how hard parenthood is?