Back in the Game

Guys...it finally happened.

After nearly 19 months...I finally got my first postpartum period.

Halle-fucking-lujah.

I have no idea if I'll be ovulating or not but just like that...I'm convinced that I can at least ovulate ONCE on my own and I'm back in it.

The thermometer is out.

The Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor is out.

FertilityFriend has been reactivated.

Yeah...I'm all in.

I have never been so excited for a period in all my life.

Of course I have convinced myself that I will be pregnant in no time, like oh a NOVEMBER BABY how quaint!  Because after all my problem has always been ovulating...not getting pregnant.

I have also convinced myself that I have one maybe two ovulations in me before the oves get all cysty again.  So...it's now or never.

But one period does not ovulation make!

Yeah...tell my brain that.

It's not listening.  All it can hear is PERIOD = FERTILITY.

IRONICALLY as much as my body is telling me to make more babies the thought of a newborn still makes me want to throw up.

I want more CHILDREN but I do not want to do that whole newborn thing again.

I cringe when I see mamas with little tiny babies now, ESPECIALLY if they've got an older one in tow.  Can I really go through that again?

I KNOW that the newborn period was/is extremely short and only a year and a half later my kid is really cool and he's a PERSON now and not a screamy little blob...but really...can I skip that part?

Look at me, I'm talking like I'm pregnant already.

ONE STEP AT A TIME GIRLFRIEND.

So, temping...I've found my temps to be extremely high, especially for the follicular phase, 98.1 this morning on CD1.  Two factors, it's a new thermometer and I'm nursing, could be affecting this but I'm curious...Anyone else find their temps to be completely different when they went in for Round #2?  

I'm used to pre-ovulation temps being very low 96.8-97.1, any thoughts?  This is like starting all over, I feel like such a newbie!

The Lovey

Jett made it nearly 18 months with no sign of ever wanting or needing any sort of lovey.

I introduced several over the last 6 months or so, I put all sorts of different stuffed animals or blankets or other loveys in the crib with him.  We even took some to the UK because I thought they would make sleeping in a strange crib more familiar.

But he never really gave a shit about any of them.  They were just sort of THERE in his crib, he definitely didn't take a shining to any one in particular.

So I figured he just wouldn't be a lovey kind of kid.

I must admit this made me a teeny bit sad because I was a blankey kid, I STILL have my baby blanket, so I kinda wanted him to have a blankey or a lovey of some sort.

But whatever, he's becoming his own person and if he didn't want a lovey then so be it.

Then one day out of the blue he found this bear sitting under a bench in our breakfast room:

source

And proudly declared "Bear!".  Since then he's pretty much had it with him at all times.

What's so special about this bear you ask?

Go ahead and click on that link.

Bear is actually a heating pad.  My husband's heating pad I should add.

He's full of beans or rice or something and when you stick him in the microwave he's like a heating pad and stays warm for awhile...that also makes him weigh like 5 pounds!  Bear is HEAVY, but Jett insists on bringing him everywhere these days.

It's fucking hilarious really.

He comes to the playground.

He brushes his teeth with us.

He eats with us.

 Sometimes he gets fed.

Sometimes he just gets to watch.

Jett would like to bring him into the tub, but he settles for Bear sitting nearby and watching. 

Bear gets to wear Jett's shoes.

Bear is always in the crib if Jett is in the crib.  If you try to take him out without also grabbing Bear, Jett will start saying "Bear" over and over again until you get Bear out too.

And just generally we like to cuddle Bear wherever we go.

Bear even gets put on the potty.

You get the picture, we love Bear.

 Cutest.  Thing.  Ever.

Pretty amazing how these tiny little babies become their own people isn't it?