Everyone is pregnant.
EVERYONE IS PREGNANT.
I feel like my entire blogroll is pregnant with Baby Deux (or 3) and everytime I open up a blog post about the SURPRISE (yes, all surprises I SWEAR) pregnancies I want to throw up a little bit.
The LOGICAL part of my brain is perfectly comfortable with the fact that I am not currently pregnant. Baby Jett would just barely be over 2 if we were to get pregnant right this second, so a few months from now is TOTALLY COOL and actually ideal.
But the INFERTILE part of my brain is freaking the fuck out.
Dear Period, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? Yes, it was great that you stayed away for so long, but COME ON! Time to grace me with your presence again!!!
I feel like I'm 13 again and all my friends have their periods and I haven't had mine yet.
Not cool body, NOT COOL.
Every time I choke down a glass of herbs or swallow another Vitex pill resentment wells up inside of me.
Why do I have to do all of this shit to ovulate? Not even to get pregnant, just to OVULATE?!
I'm beyond frustrated with my body.
And then in other completely neurotic news, just the thought of a newborn makes me want to cry. Not a good cry, the lock myself in my bathroom kind of cry. WHY DO I WANT TO DO THAT ALL OVER AGAIN??? That whole newborn phase was HORRIBLE!
Baby Jett is awesome now, he SLEEPS and he EATS and he ENTERTAINS HIMSELF. Why would I disturb the awesomeness???
Hard to understand how biology has such power over us. But it does...it so does.
I'm not pregnant, but I sure am trying hard to be. You aren't alone! I hope your period decides to show up soon.
ReplyDeleteHey, guess what?!? I'm NOT pregnant! Seriously though, my blog roll is full of surprise pregnancies- how does that happen?
ReplyDeleteNot pregnant here either! I've been ovulating regularly for about a year since my LO was born without birth control. Not looking good!
ReplyDeleteNot me!! It sucks!!! I totally thought I'd be fixed but day one just rolled into town.
ReplyDeleteNot pregnant here either. My cycle returned when Iyla was 6 months old… she is now almost 15 months old and…. not pregnant. Even though I am freakishly timing things monthly already. I understand the envy that is the plague of the infertile! I actually weaned last month partly in the hopes that it might rev up my cycle.
ReplyDeleteOn your blogroll, not preggo, no period to speak of. :)
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! It's also very annoying how I expect a SURPRISE pregnancy myself because everyone else seems to be getting them. Like...when I speak of baby #2 like I'm not infertile at all! Where is my freakin' head? Well I know where it is...it doesn't want to do infertile again. Ever.
I felt this way going into our 2nd pregnancy. Why would I want to do that again? But then when it was happening....I had the very awesome gift of perspective. It does not last forever....newborn babies really are the best thing EVER....and I was way more relaxed about ..well...everything. Sorry for the infertility shit though....personally I know how much that sucks!!!! So...I hope all the herbs and such do the trick. Did you finally wean?
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh, I know exactly how you're feeling. I got my period 3 months after my baby was born but to this day it is still not regular, and I am on birth control pills! Obviously, my body is super screwed up.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think about another pregnancy and another newborn, I feel so much longing but oh man that period sucked. I was an emotional mess! But it was only for like 5 months....
I too seem to think that after IVF I will magically get pregnant on my own. Not sure when I got so crazy. I suppose I should be off BC to even have a miniscule chance eh?
Not pregnant here either. Period showed up last month. Was hoping I would have been one of those women who got pregnant before it returned. Trying to avoid the infertility obsessions I had in the past (cm monitoring etc) so hard though.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it better- I feel ya 100 % ! I took a break from blogging and am back at it with all of the "infertile" feelings coming back again! You are not the only one for sure! Can't believe how big our babies are now!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these tips. Awesome . There is similar blog on pregnancy and morning sickness :- http://tinyurl.com/kja6gzj
ReplyDeleteHow have I never found your blog. I think I love you! Your honesty. Your humor…and we're practically neighbors. Looking forward to following your journey.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Yes, there are a LOT of preggos out there right now. I hear ya!
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