The Baby Whisperer ie. the sleep consultant I paid lots of money to get my baby to sleep says that we're there, we're at THAT point.
The point of desperation when there's no other option...it's time for CIO.
I really didn't want to be here.
I honestly thought that the sleep lady would magically be able to fix the situation for me without the crying. I REALLY THOUGHT THAT.
I may have been envisioning her with a magic wand.
You know...like this!
It turns out she does not have a magic wand and that no amount of money thrown at this problem is going to make my baby sleep without crying.
But you see, we're at the point where baby cries no matter what. Except for the magic boob technique, ie. nursing, Baby cries to be put to sleep, baby cannot be put to sleep for naps or at night without crying. IT SUCKS.
Her CIO method is the nice version, the come back into the room to shush and pat and offer kind words (mommy and daddy are right here, but you need to learn how to sleep on your own now etc etc) for 1 minute after letting them cry for increasing intervals, starting with 5, then 10, then 15 and staying at 15 minutes and the whole thing has a cutoff of 2 hours.
I think it's called the Interval Method.
Her method also allows us to not necessarily end co-sleeping but to see where he sleeps best. He gets thrown in the crib until he learns to sleep (3-7 nights apparently) and then we bring him back in the bed to see if he starts waking up all the time again. If he doesn't we can keep co-sleeping if we so choose, if he starts waking up to nurse every 2 hours again...it's time for baby to move to the crib.
While I'm terribly displeased about the lack of magic wand, the Baby Whisperer did have some insights into how we got here and was finally able to answer Where Did We Go Wrong?
It can all be contributed to that whole colic/dairy fiasco of weeks 6-12.
I knew that wasn't over and was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.
If you've ever had a baby with colic you know that YOU WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET THEM TO SLEEP, that means LOTS AND LOTS of bouncing and rocking and LOTS AND LOTS of motion in general. They don't get put down like ever because they'll scream and they get held to sleep a lot because you know...they'll scream.
So, basically, baby got really really used to motion putting him to sleep and even after we got over the colic...we kept bouncing. We kept rocking. We kept using motion to put him to sleep.
BECAUSE IT WORKED.
And because we didn't know any better. FIRST KID ACCIDENTAL PARENTING.
I knew, I KNEW, that we had to quit using motion to put him to sleep at some point and I was trying to gradually reduce the motion, but Baby Jett was putting up quite a fight and had resorted to screaming at us the moment we tried to start putting him to sleep and basically forced us to continue to bounce him...BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET HIM TO SLEEP.
And now we're here. Baby Jett has not learned how to put himself to sleep and he has not learned how to put himself BACK to sleep when he wakes up...so he nurses, he nurses himself back to sleep all night long.
And desperation for sleep both for him and for me has led us to CIO.
We start tonight.
I'm leaving the house.
To cry into a glass of wine while my husband tortures our son into sleeping.
Wish us luck. I know he won't remember a moment of this but my heart is in knots.
I'll update after the guilt has subsided.